Thread: I cannot believe I did this !

Unfortunately for you, unless you have a spectacular best friend, this is going to ruin both your friendship and her marriage.
Actually, unless you have a spectacularly dumb best friend.
Her husband did to you what I would consider rape. Maybe you didn't say no, but you weren't exactly in a place to say no. He went against his wife's wishes. And to most women in your friend's place, it's going to be "your fault."
You need to tell her that you two had sex. You don't have to tell her you might be pregnant; she'll probably be worried enough about that herself.
Pregnancy is probably the least of your worries right now, but for safety's sake, STOP DRINKING, start taking a multivitamin, eat healthy, and stop any bad habits. You have 9 months to worry about what to do with a baby if you're pregnant.
If your friend is as ticked off as I'd be if I were her, you won't have her to be there for you either. Even though I personally don't think it's your fault, she most likely will. So don't be afraid to lean on this forum when you need to. We're mostly friendly here
Good luck!

How do you feel about abortion? I am absolutely not going to get into the moral debate over abortion - I don't think there is any way to discuss it rationally - it is a matter of different world views - at what point is a fetus a person.

If you are pregnant, and if you don't have moral objections, I think that is the best answer.

If you are pregnant and you don't want an abortion - I would recommend putting the child up for adoption. There are many loving parents who want a child. You are in college, unmarried - raising a child will be a terrible strain.


If you are pregnant, and don't want an abortion, and don't want to put the child up for adoption, you need to tell.

If you are not pregnant, or have an abortion, I think it is not so clear. I don't really feel he raped you - unless you were unconcious. I'd guess he was drunk as well. If you do not tell them, life can go on as before. I don't really see anyone as being at fault in this, so I don't see any reason to spread the misery.

FWIW: I don't judge you badly at all. This time things have gone badly, but believe me, when you are older you will understand the addage that "it is not the things you did that you regret, but the things that you didn't do".

But - PLEASE don't drink so much. I've run into too many stories of people getting drunk and bad things happening. Lives can be ruined, people can go to jail, all because everyone's judgement was badly impaired.

i AGREE WiTH RCOREYUS CAUSE JUS THiNK ABOUT iT DO U REALLY WANNA HAVE YOUR BEST FRiENDS BABY.. EVEN iF SHE iS G0iN T0 BE THERE F0R YOUR JUS THiNK AB0UT H0W AKWARD iTS GOiN TO BE. D0ES SHE HAVE ANY KiDS WiT HiM?? i JUS THiNK U NEED TO TELL HER FiRST AND TELL HER ( iF U ARE PREGO) THAT YU ARE IF U THiNK YOU ARE i DONT THiNK YOU NEED TO TELLL HER U THiNK U ARE THATS JUS GOiN TO MAKE THE SiTUATiON WORSE. SO JUST EXPlAiN TO HER WHAT HAPPENED AND DONT EXPECT HER TO BE SiMPATHETiC ABOUT U BEiN DRUNK FOR THE 1ST TiME CAUSE SHES NOT WELL NOT UNlESS SHE iS A REALLY GOOD FRiEND.. SHES GOiN TO BE ANGRY AND iF SHE KEEPS THAT HUSBAND OF HERS AROUND AND NOT YOU SHE WASNT A GOOD FRiEND AFTER ALL CAUSE iT WAS BOTH FAULTS MORE HiS BEiN U WERE iNTOXiCATED!!

GOOD LUCK LET US KNO HOW iT GOES!!

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

How do you feel about abortion? I am absolutely not going to get into the moral debate over abortion - I don't think there is any way to discuss it rationally - it is a matter of different world views - at what point is a fetus a person.

If you are pregnant, and if you don't have moral objections, I think that is the best answer.

If you are pregnant and you don't want an abortion - I would recommend putting the child up for adoption. There are many loving parents who want a child. You are in college, unmarried - raising a child will be a terrible strain.


If you are pregnant, and don't want an abortion, and don't want to put the child up for adoption, you need to tell.

If you are not pregnant, or have an abortion, I think it is not so clear. I don't really feel he raped you - unless you were unconcious. I'd guess he was drunk as well. If you do not tell them, life can go on as before. I don't really see anyone as being at fault in this, so I don't see any reason to spread the misery.

FWIW: I don't judge you badly at all. This time things have gone badly, but believe me, when you are older you will understand the addage that "it is not the things you did that you regret, but the things that you didn't do".

But - PLEASE don't drink so much. I've run into too many stories of people getting drunk and bad things happening. Lives can be ruined, people can go to jail, all because everyone's judgement was badly impaired.

I wholeheartedly agree.

i agree with recoreyus,and sourpuss.and please be more carefull next time.

I just wanted to thank you guys so much for all your support - I have not taken a pregnancy test yet, have an appointment this week, I will definately let you guys know how it turns out. Again.. thank you so much for everything, it's really helped. I feel alot better physically since I first posted, I hope those symptoms were just some of the MANY germs going around campus right now (everything from strep to flu to mono).. I'll find out this week though. Thanks again, so much.

:-)