Thread: How should I ask??

I'd suggest just telling him. See what his reaction is. He may be as eager as you, in which case great. He may want children, but think the time isn't right yet (18 is pretty young in my book - a baby is a HUGE change in your life). If he doesn't want children, find out now.

Also - have you spent a lot of time with children? Sometimes people (like my wife) find out that the reality is nothing like they imagined. She desperately wanted children - couldn't have them. We took in a foster child - absolute disaster, she couldn't stand the kid.

spending time with kids can also be a way to gage your husband's reaction. Find children's programs in your area, babysit for friends kids. Foster parent for a year, spend time with your husband and with children. It may be obvious that that is what you both want - or not.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

I'd suggest just telling him. See what his reaction is. He may be as eager as you, in which case great. He may want children, but think the time isn't right yet (18 is pretty young in my book - a baby is a HUGE change in your life). If he doesn't want children, find out now.

I agree with rcoreyus on 18 being pretty young for children. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting at all that you can't take care of a child or that any 18 year old can't. I'm speaking from experience. I had my first a month after I turned 17 and looking back I wish things would have been different. You are very young and newly married and it is a big change to a persons life. Spend a little time being married and getting to know one another, you have plenty of time for children.

I can however say I understand completely the yearning to have a child. If that's what you want talk to him, find out his feelings on the issue. Good luck!

find a hobby find a lot of hobbies.keep your self occupied with a lot of things.your way to young,you have to find yourself first and at eighteen you dont know completely who you are.thats the advice i would gove if you were mine.i cant help but ask,is your husband a marine?

I have spent alot of time with children.I have a brother that i pretty much raised and my cousin has a 1 year old and i love both of them.My husband has spent time with my brother he is great with him.i'm just real nervous about asking him.

Yes he is a Marine.I know i'm 18 but i'm not like every other 18 year old.Everybody that meets me says that i act 20 some.

What's the big hurry? Remember that as soon as you have the baby that is virtually the end of spending anytime with your husband-just the two of you alone.

If you want the company of children, I agree with rcoreyus, foster a child, or volunteer with Big Brother's Big Sisters, baby sit friends children. Do you think there is maybe something in your relationship that is missing and you want to fill it with a baby? (just a thought)

Why not enjoy this time of being young with your husband? Travel, get to know one another, etc. Because when a baby does come, all that time goes out the window.

I'm an Army girlfriend (former Marine fiancée, was in JROTC in high school, ROTC for a semester of college, basically I'm "informed" on the military lifestyle,) so my first questions are to ask what kind of job he has, whether he's going to be deployed anywhere dangerous, whether he's enlisted or officer, all that.
I think it's great that you took the plunge and got married young. But life is hard on an enlisted man's wife, unless he's much older than you and already an NCO. In general, the Marines is hard on enlisted men. My ex-fiancé is a Lance Corporal and just deployed to Iraq and I blame the necessities of war for ruining our relationship. He really went batsh** before he deployed and went from wanting to marry me to not speaking to me for months.
Being a military wife is hard. Is he career, or just a one-time signer? Will he want to be career? I've heard things get better in the second enlistment.
Maybe that all seemed off-topic, but it's a very important topic if you want a baby.
-Enlisted men don't get paid that much. They're in an environment where drinking themselves drunk every night is looked upon favorably by their peers, thus wasting more money. It's almost impossible to live a comfortable life on an enlisted salary unless you yourself have a VERY NICE job, and at 18, that's not an easy thing to have.
-Deployments. How will it affect "baby" if "daddy" dies? It's a very real possibility, especially if like many MOSes, he will have to do a job in Iraq he wasn't trained to do since the beginning. Artillery men get sent to do EOD searches; so instead of blowing things up from a distance they're often getting blown up from up close. How will "daddy" change in his relating to you and your child after a deployment? After a bout of PTSD?
These are your points to weigh. You don't have to give me/us any of his rank information if you don't want to. I'm giving enlisted men's information because I think that's what's most likely in your position, but if he's an officer I can tell you things about that too.
If you want a stable home, though, I would suggest that you do two things:
1. Ask him how he feels about becoming an officer. The Marines will pay for his college. Look for a college near you with an NROTC program and ask him to fill out the paperwork for the scholarship. Many enlisted guys "hate" the officers, but if they could be calling the shots and make a difference somehow, wouldn't that be great too?
2. If you aren't planning on going to college, the best thing you can do to get a GREAT job at a young age is LEARN A SECOND LANGUAGE. Spanish is in VERY high demand all over this country, and you're still young enough to learn it easily. Even if you work at McDonald's, in most metropolitan areas, Hispanics are employed and it will at least give you a chance to practice.
So, good luck, and I hope you and your husband are able to make an informed decision that will make both of you [or potentially all THREE of you] quite happy.

Little is wise.

I'd just add that there are a lot of options for education / carrer - you should find something you like and that pays reasonably well -I'm sure there is something. With that under your belt, you will be able to take care of yourself and your future child. Having your own income means never feeling trapped because you need to rely on someone else. It is very difficult to finish college while raising a child.