MYb that happend for a reason... and it was meant for you to take care of 4 childen in stead of only 3... no matter what as long as u try ur best thats all ur children can ask for...

I admire the fact you have posted and you have every right for support.

I am thirty nine, i had an abortion after being raped at age 22 (date rape). I had been on a few dates with this guy and the actual rape must of lasted all but a few seconds ...afterwards he just got up and ran away (literally down the road)...i was in complete shock and in no fit state financially or emotionally to have a child . I was also taking medication at the time for epilepsy (sodium valproate 200mg) which is not recommended to concieve on id been taking a low dose since i was 10 years of age . Although i had been seizure free since 20 years age i was still taking that medication at the time...and along with the general upset of it all and the medication it was advised by the dr although the decision was ultimately mine...i had a termination.

My parents and brother (who was a Catholic Priest at that time - is now Anglican ...no religious opinions, pressures of any sort just concerns for my health alone and what i felt was best to do. I remember for the 8 weeks i was pregnant i would swing from feeling sheer terror to ...well maternal or times i would (and i am ashamed to admit ..i would feel as if there was some sort of "alien" feeding off the food i ate and would cry that i wanted a termination sooner than the 8 weeks that it had to be up to at that time....

Afterwards ...i dont think it really hit me till perhaps one year later (perhaps it was because all of my college friends had started having children ...they knew nothing of my rape or termination....i was single ..which i still am today . I dont have any children i havent been married or even engaged yet . I met a guy a few years back ...ok so i fell head over heels hoping this was finally the moment all those years of thinking about my the child i didnt have now would be my chance !!! it was hard luck he turned out to be whats known as a philanderer! he forgot to mention he had a wife and children (till i got the phone call) ...he also forgot to tell me he had an STI chlymydia ...so i get sicker i mean very sick with pelvic inflammatory disease ....so now i am wondering if i will ever get that baby i long for ....theres hope though still having regular periods (lucky).

If you said one thing to me "do you regret your termination" you could of had it adopted ...there is no way i could have given my child away the love the bond too strong ...you'd give up your own life for your childs life so i could never of done that . yes of course i have regrets ...theres not a day that goes by that i dont think of him/her ...BUT i think it was the right thing to do at the time i know that i was in a terrible state i stayed in one roon for those 8 weeks crying and hardly eating ...it wasnt fair to bring a child into a situation like that and i am sure all the stress alone would have had a effect on the sevelopment of the fetus..

It is never easy for any woman to make such a decision ...one of the hardest decisions you make in your life ...but ultimately it is up to the individual. ..I send you my good wishes and my thoughts are with you. Take care . Katty

If you are still undecided on whats best for you, maybe i can offer some advice that will help.
I have been with my boyfriend almost 2yrs, we are a solid couple but have very different views on pregnancy & abortion.
Last June i found out i was pregnant & i was in complete shock, i wasnt sure how to handle the situation... we decided it was best to have an abortion. Every day i have regretted that decision, everytime i see an expecting mother, a little baby, hear a friend/family is expecting is breaks a little piece of me, i know for the rest of my life i will regret that decision.
.... Now a year later we just found out i am expecting again - my boyfriend & i were very safe but somehow still managed to conceive.
Im lucky to have this second chance & even though it was not planned we are going through with the pregnancy, because i know we will always be surrounded by love & support.... no more wondering what could have been

It states clearly in the thread that the need for advice is over.

Closed.