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I am sorry you are faced with such a hard decision. What is your husbands opinion on this? Have you considered having the baby and giving it up for adoption?
want a opinions of abortion (aside from religious beliefs)
I understand the religious views on abortion I grew up in a very religious family and have heard the concerns and beliefs. I respect them and felt the same until about 7 years ago when I got pregnant with my first child. I had to think really hard and had to decide if this pregnancy would benefit the child or if I would be selfish to bring the child into a abusive family and not be able to take care of it financialy. Ultimately I did the hardest thing I would ever do and left my abusive father haven't talked to him since and I chose to have the child and it was the best decision I ever made. But now I feel I am in the same position I was in 7 years ago. I have since had twins (just a year old) and was supposed to get my tubes tide but there were complications and I lost alot of blood during the c-section. so the doctors had to save my life instead of tying my tubes. well I am pregnant again. I have a loving family now. Me and my husband are doing alright financialy and we give our kids as much attention as we could. This pregnancy feels wrong in so many ways. I feel like a bad person for admitting that but it is the truth. taking care of three kids is hard work and I sometimes feel like I am failing them how could I add a fourth. I am seriously considering abortion and getting my tubes tied but how could I get rid of this child like it is not as much a part of me as my other children? I am confused and honestly going back and fourth. The decision is ultimately mine but I would just like some opinions and maybe some support (even though i probably don't deserve it) Thanks.
Always Smilenow
I am sorry you are faced with such a hard decision. What is your husbands opinion on this? Have you considered having the baby and giving it up for adoption?
It is a tough decision to make. Talk to hubby and listen to his side on what he thinks.
Husband supports whatever decision I make
My husband says he supports any decision I make. Hard as I try to get him to give me a little direction he won't I think it hurts him too much. Adoption could never be a option. I know that once I feel the baby kick it is all over from there and I won't be able to let it go.
Always Smilenow
Please let me know if im getting to personal but may i ask why do you think the pregnancy is wrong or feels wrong?Originally Posted by Smilenow
It feels wrong because I don't feel I have enough to give my chilren enough attention. I work full time and so does my husband and we do the best we can but it seems to never be enough. I am exhausted all the time and I don't know if I can handle another child. Financially to is another worry. We are okay now but what will happen after. I already pay a horrendous amount for daycare and another child plus all the food and neccesities will put us at a struggle again. All selfish reasons I know but I don't want all or one of my children to feel neglected or not loved.
Always Smilenow
I know this is a difficult decision and I am not going to sugar coat it. You must balance the death of a fetus against the good of your children and your self.
While I think a fetus has some value, I think it is much less than a child or an adult. (just my philosophy - not something that can be argued rationally). I think you are doing better by having the abortion and concentrating on your children and youself.
I think a lot on moral issues, and for what it is worth, in my book, having the abortion is morally correct. If you do have an abortion, please do not feel guilt in the future. You will have done so with the best of intentions - the care of your children.
I'm sorry you and your husband are going through this tough time together. However, I want to encourage you to keep your baby. The mere fact that you are wrestling with this issue is an indicator that you may end up regretting aborting the pregnancy. Although you may not feel capable of loving and caring for all of your four children considering how much is on your plate already, your love and best efforts will be enough for them. Eventually, your family will be grateful for the addition of another (unexpected) member. Your concerns about your current situation, while valid, are temporary, but your decision is permanent. Look further down the road...imagine what your family will look like in 5-10 years time...Im sure that you will all go through tough times but with the love from their parents, and the support from each other, your children will make it.
Maybe there is something you can do to alleviate your financial problems? Moving can be a HUGE relief, once it's over. My parents are probably going to make $50k on their current move, after renovations on the new house, just by choosing a smaller yard, fewer rooms, a different neighborhood, and a house that's in need of some light work.
Small things make a big difference in financial situations. Cook more meals at home (you can make a reasonably healthy, 4-person-family meal in 15 minutes,) change hours at work so that you need fewer hours of daycare, or find a licensed babysitter in the area that costs less. Budget to spend less on the more frivolous things, like entertainment and shopping. Food shop at Walmart or another discount place (with children, bulk cereal goes a long way!) and buy the store-brand goods.
I don't know what on earth I would do in your situation. I don't think I could ever get an abortion, but the decision you are faced with is really quite dire, and I applaud you for looking for alternatives.
Due to my mother's mental illness, our 4-person family survived on one less than $30k/year salary. It was hard, but my parents were able to make it work.
don't have an abortion. you will end up regreting it. You'll think about it all the time especially as time goes by it will eat at you. God never gives us more than we can handle. and everything happens for a reason. And there is a reason you have been blessed with another child. did you know that babies from the time they are concieved they feel things. they feel pain and things just as you do. not only that but if you see an ultrasound of an abortion you'll see the babie backing away from the needle because of fear. They get scared to and obviously have a will to live even then. It may seem hard but It will be ok. Just have faith in God and things will be just fine. good luck to you and your family. you sound like a very good mom by the way.
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