Thread: Just a Question...

hi there! how old are you? i personally think you should wait until you are married to have kids. Thats my opinion! whats your hurry?

Originally Posted by blueyed21

Okay about 8 months ago I had a miscarriage. Now me and my fiance want a baby so bad. But we also would like to get married. Should I wait and get married first? I guess that since I miscarried I want a baby now more than ever but I don't know if I can wait that long to get married first eventhough it sounds like the right thing to do. What do ya'll think?

Speaking as a mother, raising a child is very involved and if you can, it would be better if you get married first. That way you can completely share in the duties and decrease burnout. You get the cutesy stuff with a child, but there's a lot more to it than that.

It's very emotionally painful to have a misscarriage, I know. Give yourself time to heal. You don't need to have a baby to do that.

If you both feel ready to have a child together, the miscarriage aside then marriage shouldn't really be an obsticle. Have you been together long? as a child is the biggest commitment of all not just to each other but the child.

Follow your heart.

Good luck
tt

Being an unwed mother myself I don't think it matters if you are legally married. What matters is that there is a healthy emotional bond between the parents that can be shared with the child. The only problem I can see with having a child now is the monetary issue of an upcoming wedding. If both you and your partner want a child and can afford to both raise a child and pay for a wedding the more power to you My daughter will be 2 in a couple of months and we are expecting the newest addition to our family in early 2009 and still not married. Like the previous poster said its more a personal preference or religious view than anything else. Best of Luck in whatever you choose!!