Thread: pregnant. ER

Not wanting a child has already put your baby at a disadvantage. I got pregnant at a young age. I considered adoption but chose not to go that route. Life has not been easy. I grew up right along side my baby boy. I turned out fine but he...well, things didnt go well for him and not being mature and having the life experience, I couldnt help.

The father not being stable nor wanting children puts another strike against your baby's future.

Talk to your OB/GYN. They have amazing resources that many people do not know about and they dont bring up unless the patient does. You may be suprised as some of the things they can help you with.

I wouldn't be against the idea of an abortion, and even if it is a life, at the moment it's no more sentient than the rabbit you might stew. If it's preventing a life from happening that is your moral objection, having a child when you aren't ready, is preventing the life of a baby you would probably have when you are better established to provide a good home to later on, and that child would have a better life, therefore, by utilitarianism at least, it is not only morally palpable, but imperitive. Especially when you factor in the possible negative (if it's unwanted) effects that having a child when you are not ready will have upon your life.

Don't let the bible bashers dissuade you from doing what you think is right.

I never called you a bible basher, I was just speaking in general terms.

You would of course feel badly about abortion, as if your parents had aborted you you wouldn't exist today. It's a subject that's difficult to think about. For example, if my brothers disease had been picked up in early pregnancy (which it can be these days), it might have made sense to discontinue that pregnancy and try again, for a healthier child. Had that been done, the brother I love dearly would never have existed, but another one probably would have... One that would potentially be a lot more happy.

I suppose it all really boils down to your view on the soul, at what point it develops (if such a thing even exists), what your duties are to a soul and at what point they start, etc etc. These are all really subjective moral opinions that you need to make up your own mind about.

thanks-to everyone that has replied so far. my own views aren't as set in stone at the moment vs. a year ago. i truly believe that it is unfair to bring a child into this world without adequate stability...but i think it must be because the father's sister is pregnant also..and is due around the same time. i dont know if i can look at her baby without thinking of my own, if lost. with either direction, there is doubt and uncertainty of our mental health for years to come. the father and i have good jobs and are done with the initial aspects of school..we just were always the type who where going to be the spoiling aunt and uncle whod travel and do charity work for the rest of our lives... then poof..suddenly a part of me wants to see this baby's face. do any of you think that having a baby when a man is not ready is the kind of pressure that can be detrimental to a relationship? i know it sounds selfish...but i read that a lot of women feel pressured by men to have abortions even if the men don't say it out loud. i believe that its my body...but i owe him the respect of giving him 1/2 the decision. im stressing out sooo much trying to make the decision that ends with the happiest results...im having pregnancy complications already.