Ive known my best friend for only 2 1/2 years but we instantly clicked...we tell each other everything and she has helped me more than i could ever have asked for. After many unsuccessful relationships i felt i needed to take the back burner on relationships with guys. The truth is I love her more than anything in the world. She is literally my everything. Knowing i have her around means i don't need relationships with meaningless guys because I dont crave a physical relationship. The thing is ive told her i love her and i feel that i may have caused a slight uncomfortable edge between us. she swears i havent..and that she has known for ages but i dont believe her. She is too scared about hurting me so she would never be truly honest about her feelings. The problem is i have serious paranoia and worry that everything i do no matter how small may upset her or make her feel uncomfortable. I dont wanna make things worse by tellign her exactly how much i care about her as i dont want to put that on her..but i cant talk to anyone about this as all my friends are too involved. I want to tell her how much i love her..i guess to make myself feel better...but the last thing i want to do is hurt her or ruin what we have. I dont know where to turn so i guess thats why ive come here. I need to sort this out because its really getting to me..and she can see it is..and all its doing is making things worse.

are you gay have you been with girls? is she gay? you have been with men before and maybe your shying away from the single scene and got to comfortable with her if she said she has known that you had feelings with her and she hasnt done anything then maybe she does nt feel the same. Its very hard to tell anyone how you feel and especially if its your best friend as you feel you lose more some friendships turn to love while others dont
Either way you are tormenting yourself be honest with her and yourself can you see it working for you and her.

I was in a similar situation, a friend of mine and I got emotionally involved, we made it. All you have to do is ask her, how does she feel about what you said, does she have feelings for you, does she still want to be friends? The way she answers you will tell you what you need to do, weather it be relaxing and going with the flow or maybe putting a little distance between you.

My freind and I got very close just before we each got married, looking back I see that for me it was because I was unhappy with my now ex-husband, for her....well I honestly dont know what she thought would happen. Anyway, I ended things, we each got married, I got divorced, shes still happy. We still talk. Just keep in mind that you have been friends for a while, above all else make sure that you remain friends. If you arent what she wants, you need to accept it and if you still want to be a part of her life, be her friend. If she says that things are fine, you need to stop worrying and let things be fine. If you arent what she wants, you need to move on, dont keep wishing she wanted you.

I know it seems hard and confusing right now, but it will work out.

I think this is a thread SorridLives can view and answer before me...

I can't quite figure out the situation. If I'm reading correctly, you and your new love are both female. Is she openly gay / bi? If she is straight, then this could be a strain - finding out that your friend has a romantic attachment that you can't return. If she is gay / bi but in the closet, then this could be frightening - she may worry that you have detected her orientation, and that otheres might as well. If she is gay / bi, she may be in a relationship with someone who is in the closet.

You say you are not looking for anything physical, but for many people spiritual and physical love are closely tied together. They may be seperate for you, but not for her.

Yes we are both female and no she is not gay. The problem for me though is that i want to her to understand how much i feel for her but im worried that that will change things between us. But its the little things that will change that i feel will effect me more. like watching a film and her laying on me...cuddling up to me..those sorts of things. She knows that i am in no posistion to have a physical relationship so she should no that im not 'trying to get in her pants' so to speak but i cant help but feel things would change. She has recently just completely called it off with her ex after almost 2 years and i want to be there for her..i just dont want her to feel im there because im just fulfilling my needs..when i do genuinely just want to be there for her through everything. This is gradually starting to eat away at me..i pick up on things she says and it gets me thinking am i making things worse...and i think abouyt these all the time..were most people would just think nothing of them i dont cos i guess im so scared about hurting her. I know she loves me deeply and would never want to hurt me either..which is probably why this is so hard...because she cant talk to me about her true feelings...cos she wouldnt want to upset me...i just feel so aweful about this cos im the person she talks to about everything, and yet ive put her in a position where she has noone to talk to. My head is just a mush of thoughts and it has helped trying to write em down on here...i just dont know where to go from here.

why don't you just tell her what you wrote in the above post?

If you let it fester you'll drive yourself nuts to the point that you'll say something or react in a way that is "extreme" to her because she doesnt know where you are coming from.

there's nothing wrong with loving someone without the physical or romantic aspect. At least she'd know that she is special to you. She can either appreciate it for what it is, abuse it, or throw it away. If something more happens later, then that's what happens. If not, at least it's off your chest (so to speak).

Ant