Thread: Past Issues and tons of lies

Hi, my gf and I have been together for a little over a year. Just recently the skeletons of her closet have fallen out and I feel as though I may be buried in the cemetery. I’ll start by saying this is the first woman that I have truly cared for and I have had intentions of marrying her and having a family with her one day.

Well the issues start with one day she said that her sex life with a past bf was ‘amazing’ to allegedly just to make me jealous. From that moment on I got very jealous. She then said that she only said that to get me mad and jealous but the thought never left my mind. Her past seemed to bother her so we talked about it and it seemed at the time that they were things she did not want to do, was not into, and regretted.

She said she had self esteem issues and let guys take advantage of her and would drink let guys do what they wanted to her. Recently she told me that a lot of the things that she told me before were lies. Throughout this whole relationship I have felt that I was being lied to and I was she repeatedly lied about essentially everything regarding her past going as far as saying that she wouldn’t even kiss guys, move when on top, and only performed certain acts once with one person. She went as far as saying that she never felt a second of pleasure and felt totally numb when things happened in her past and she seemed traumatized by it.

The lies completely ate at her and essentially at our relationship. One day I decided to contact her ex and ask him things because I felt as though I had enough of the lies and I wanted to hear the truth because her stories would change all the time. That same day she decided to tell me things herself. After a couple of more varying stories filled with lies on 3 separate occasions I told her to take a polygraph about things she says because I am tired of hearing a thousand stories with everything. Then the truth came out within a week I am where I stand now she wanted to come clean. So now I know that she at one point had Chlamydia which she never told me about even when I asked her if she had ever had anything. She had unprotected sex with 4 out of the 5 guys she was with when she previously told me only one. She used to kiss guys and tongue them when she said she didn’t. She said that she performed oral sex on 4 guys when before she said she only did it once to one guy. She said she wouldn’t move but now she says that she would ride guys and etc.

When I spoke to her ex he said that she was very sexual, a freak. That she would perform oral sex on him often and that she would move a lot during. That she would always initiate sexual acts and was drunk only once when they did things. She told me that she performed oral sex on him once and that what he said was untrue. I still don’t believe that she felt no pleasure ever from another guy it just doesn’t make sense but she sticks to it. Is that even possible?

She completely messed up my head and I don’t know what to think about anything. I feel like I have spent my whole relationship with a fraud and everything that we have shared means nothing because all the things that were ‘special’ to her were actually been there done that ordeals. And now I don’t know what to believe because she is a compulsive liar. I need help, advice, and therapy lol please help. How can I believe anything that comes out of her mouth? How can I move on from this I still love her but this was too much to handle.