Thread: Still think about your first after years?

First let me say I'm a normally happy married wife. In fact I've been with dh for 14 years. But dh is not my first or second. I've been with 3 men. The first guy a meet when I was out with a friend from school. We met a couple guys, and dated them together. She ended up marrying the guy she dated. Any way I had dated other guys and never felt the way I did about this guy. It was like an amazing spark from the moment we meant. It was one of those things others could see from the light in our eyes. I was a virgin and he was very experienced. We didn't have sex for about a month into our relationship. He wouldn't till then because he wanted to make sure, I was sure. It was pretty good as far as virgin sex goes I guess. He broke it off a couple weeks after that because he said he was ready to feel the way he was feeling. We ended up going out few time after that. I think our friends were trying to get us back together. I didn't here from him for a few months and then he came over one night and wanted to talk. We ended up having sex in his car. I started dating my dh that same week. I kept hoping the ex would call. I saw him a few time after that when he was playing ball against dh. Then he called one night wanted to take me out to dinner, said he had been calling but my mom wasn't giving me the messages. Said he wanted to start all over and do things right. Dh was in the room and freaked. I told him no and not to call again. He started dating his wife that week. I've always regretted not talking to him. I have a happy life but I don't feel that spark with dh that did with my first. I know dh feels that spark for me though and I feel guilty. I feel committed to dh and our life together. But I will always wonder what could have been? Is this normal just because he was my first? And no I wouldn't leave my husband for him, but I would consider a relationship with him if we where both single again, as does happen later in life.