Sexless Relationship

**Stryker814** · 10-04-2008 11:25 AM

I have been dating/talking to this girl for about 5 months. I she is a virgin and I am not. Everything is going great. I fell hard and fast for this girl. She make me 98% happy. We were messing around last night and I have posted a thread about how she is a virgin and im not and she wants to have sex. We try and I cant fit and it hurts her. Well last night I tried to use my finger to please her and it hurt her so I didnt. I tried to massage her clit and it tickled so she asked me to stop. I was finally able to please her by going down on her. Its been 6 or so months since I have had sex and not having sex with her and not being able to please her the ways I want to are causing me to have second thoughts about her. This issue didnt come into my head until last night after we got done doing our thing. I dont want this to cause me to drift away from her or anything. I love her alot and I can see my self with her for the rest of my life. I just dont want the no sex issue to start causing problems. I want to use my finger to not only please her but to help with (i guess you could say) stretching her vagina to it will be less painless if we do have sex. What should I do? Will this feeling go away.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-04-2008 04:18 PM

I dont want this to cause me to drift away from her or anything. I love her alot and I can see my self with her for the rest of my life.

Be patient.

She is feeling un-confortable it's all new to her.. It's normal for her to freeze up and that's probably what she is doing, a form a fear, she is a Virgin and she wants to give with you but probably has a lot of fear.

You said she was ticklish in your other post, she seems to be nervous, she is "feeling" what is happening instead of "experiencing"... she is concious of what is going to happen.

She needs to let her mind wander a bit and not concentrate but to "dream" so to speak, speak to her and tell her a story so to speak before you touch her there, kiss her long and passionate take her mind off of what is going to happen next, story? but that I mean, tell her she is beautiful and that you love her, take her mind away from it, and keep talking to her, a word here and there, kiss her at the same time as you touch her there, so she releases any fears, releases "feeling and thinking" what you are doing, or going to do, to just relaxing and feeling in a different way.

Good that you love her and she you.

Be patient...Rome wasn't built in a day, off course she will let go eventually when she feels truly comfortable.

It's only been 5 months together, and now she is trying to let you into her life fully, so she loves you love her back by being patient and passionate, without concentrating yourself on how to get her to "open" more, let it happen naturally through love and passion and not fear on her side.

Good luck,

CW

**Stryker814** · 10-06-2008 11:05 AM

She says she has tried with one other guy though. It just gets to me because she says she wants to and then when we try she always stops me. I get aggrivated and I dont want to get aggrivated. I want to wait on her. I try and do things that will make it easier in the long run but she stops me sometimes. What should I do?

**crzyredhead21** · 10-13-2008 06:45 PM

You need to read thread in "Sex" and then click on "tight vagina" . The guys who replied to the question explain how to get a woman hot,bothered, and begging for it! I think this could be what is the problem... she may not be turned on enough. Sorry to be so blunt about it but you did ask for advice.

I know that just reading the replies to that thread got me EXTREMLY hot! (Thanks guys! Been awhile!

)
She could also be very self conscious. She may feel that she may not be good at it and you'll end up being disappointed. Also, you have already had sex so she may be afraid of bing compared to preious "connections"

These are all speculations though. Anyways, read the thread and try it out on her. Make her beg for it and you should have nooooooo problems!!!!!

LOL. Let us know if i's successful!

**Stryker814** · 10-14-2008 01:53 PM

Will do and your right I did ask for advice. Nothing wrong with being blount. I get called a a**hole all the time for being that way. Thanks everyone.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-14-2008 02:05 PM

I kind of agree there, if she "stops you" doing other things, then she may be very tight and embarrased to tell you, and has a real fear of it. It may even hurt with just a finger. So, it may not be that at all, it may be that she has a fear, it hurts with what you are doing.

Tell her you understand as many times as you can, she needs to know that you don't care, that you love her.

Somehow, you have to get her to open up and talk about that with you, is this the case, and then gently persuade her to try herself with her own finger and explore her own body her way, to get passed that...

That's my thoughts.

CW

**Franciz84** · 10-15-2008 10:12 PM

We all know that sex is really painful at the first time. =)

**Stryker814** · 10-24-2008 10:39 AM

We broke up/took a break. Her ex called her last night and she didnt answer. Then she told me that she couldn't stop thinking about him and that she might miss him. Not missing him with her just missing his as a friend. We been fighting alot and I told her that we needed to take a break and let her figure out what she wants to do. Im so scared she wont come back to me.

**Livelaughlove** · 10-24-2008 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by Stryker814

She says she has tried with one other guy though. It just gets to me because she says she wants to and then when we try she always stops me. I get aggrivated and I dont want to get aggrivated.

I didn't read the other responses but If she wants to have sex but stops you then your the one that is causing the problem. She is simply not turned on enough.

There is a point where you can build the sexual tension between you to so much that if she was to just look at you she will have this urge to just jump you and rip off all your clothes. The thought of a little pain will be disregarded by her urge to release all that tension.

My question to you is how are you building up the sexual tension? If you are...

Live laugh love

**Livelaughlove** · 10-24-2008 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by Stryker814

We broke up/took a break. Her ex called her last night and she didnt answer. Then she told me that she couldn't stop thinking about him and that she might miss him. Not missing him with her just missing his as a friend. We been fighting alot and I told her that we needed to take a break and let her figure out what she wants to do. Im so scared she wont come back to me.

I guess i came to this thread a little to late...

Sorry man

btw... The BEST way to get her back is start talking to another girl...Dont try convincing her! It will just push her away...

Live laugh and love

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