Thread: Single MOM being the mistress

Hello,

I have been reading alot of subjects regarding mistresses and would like some input about my situation aswell, plz.

I am 27yo, and i broke with my my ex after a relatioship of 10 years and having one daughter with him, now with 4 years.
We broke up in the beginning of july, since then i started to speak more frekently with a coworker, by august i was having an affair with this coworker of mine, he was never married by church (like me) but he is with this woaman for almost 11 years and have one 10yo son with her, he says he is miserable and whants to leave home for some time now, but he doesnt want to go to his parents home and haves trouble about how he will make the separations easier for his son.
I never betrayed my ex, and i never thought i would be "able" to find my self in the spot of the mistress but i really love this man, and i believe him when he says to me that he never loved someone as he loves me now.
He told me he would leave his wife and go live with me, but i have this problem, my daughter that is very attached to her dad, to the point she once saw a photo of me hugging this man i love, and told me i shouldnt be doing that cause dad didnt like him and would be upset (she knows her dad doesnt like him, cause she heard more than once we talking and he saying i shouldnt be with him), and i am affraid of how much this can affect her.
Then there this stuff that her dad days to me like;

He says i am a homewrecker by making a man leave is wife and kid because of me, but thats not true, he is miserable and wanted to leave his wife prior of having an affair with me.
He says that the man i love is a douchebag, cause if he was a real man he would have left his family long before the affair, if he was that miserable he wouldnt need me to push him to leave home.
He says that the man i love doesnt respect me because if he did respect and love me he wouldnt make me his mistress even if only temporarly, if we actually respected and love me, he would first leave his home and only then start something with me.
Another thing that gets my ex mad, is this guy wanting to leave his wife home and come live to with right away, my ex says that show lack of respect for the kids aswell, specially to our 4yo daugther that will have to coupe with this new man this fast.
My MM even came to have a talk with my ex, one day that me and my ex argued, they went to get a beer (go figure) while they talked, they have diferent interpretations of their talk, my ex still says he is a touchebag and told him in the face, my ex told him and me he doesnt believe in our love, cause no love grows this fast, making the judgment that after one month we already were talking into living together (my MM brought the subject), my ex believe we are filling the gaps on each other and that when the passion goes away then the problems will rise, and 2 kids will be messed up.
My ex says that the only explanation for this man behaviours when taking into account that he might be telling the truth about leaving home. is that he never left his wife cause he really doesnt want to go to his parents home, wich leads to, maybe he seems me as an alternative, keep a woman, get a house, all good for him.
My MM confessed that prior of his current relatioship he had a 12 years long relationship, and that he did cheated on that GF several times, but the current GF (wife whatever, they do live together), was only cheated with me, i was the only one he cheated the current one with, and says that to me he would never do it because he is a new man.
My ex doesnt beleive him, says that if he already admited to have cheated several times his ex, and that its a fact that he is cheating the current one with me, howcome someone can believe i was the only one and specially why would i ever think he would not do it again to me, because he did it already so many times on long lasting relationship, but my ex doesnt know the way he says he loves me and that i am the woeman of his life. Î belive my MM.

Maybe i should confess i slept with my ex more than once... on the second month of my relatioship with my MM, i dont know why i did it.. either, he asked me why i did, i dont know.. i almost got caught by my MM and never did it again, I know why my ex did it, he confessed he did it cause he wanted to provoke a breakup with my MM, and that he still likes me, and dont want me into this mess. he also says that he doesnt believe in this mans ability to commitment and that he is affraid of me letting him enter our daughters life for latter on our daughter see a stepfather she got accoustumed leave home to be yet with another woman.

But what gives me more pain is when my ex says i am being selfish and not considering our daugther, he told me he would be ok with everything if i let our daugther live with him instead of with me. But i cant do that cause i love my daugther, and i believe that she will be happy if she sees momy is happy.