My husband Cheated on Me I need Help
I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now married for four months…. Our relationship has always been good and I always thought he would be with me forever and that we’ll have the perfect family… Now I’m seven months pregnant and I just found out that my husband cheated on me with a coworker…. I knew something was wrong since he started text messaging with her for any little thing he insisted that they were just good friends. On the other hand he was so indifferent with me when I needed him the most…. . Now he says that he is confuse about what he feels for me, that he doesn’t love me as before. I just don’t know what to do. I’ll love to have a family with him but seriously I don’t know if its worth it… Plus he still talking to her. I really need an advise I never thought he would do this to me, not now that I’m pregnant……
Thanks!!!!
Could it be that being pregnant is scaring him? Commitment?
You had relations he was way happy with that? He is a batchelor not ready to settle into family life?
Regardless what an ...................... you need to think about you and the baby perhaps scare the shirt out of him and go..
He can't have his cake and eat it and a baby is way important and should be exciting to both partners, unfortunately, his priority is his ..............
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Its a shame we cant transplant a baby into a man for half a pregnancy...Im sure things would be a little different. If hes any sort of man he'll get over his lust and realise he has a loving partner and a responsibility that will change his life for the better.
Be firm now! Look after yourself. Involve him in everything like the baby scans..he may run..but that means he's not a worthy dad..yet he may be overwelmed with exitment...and I hope he is!
all the best
Coral sky
You were together for four years and got married because you were pregnant? Was the pregnancy an agreed upon event or an 'accident'? If you had a good relationship and thought he'd be with you forever, why the pregnacy before the marriage? Usually (not always) if people who intend to make a lifelong committment, marry and have a family, do it in that order. They commit first, marry and then get pregnant.
I've been around for a while. I'm no longer a big fan of marriage. I'm not trying to be judgemental here, just pointing out something that is all too common. I've have seen plenty of women feeling that the relationship is slipping away, get pregnant. Apparently they figure that will lock him in. I don't know that's what happened in your case but the timing could point that way. IF that is the case, his behavior isn't too surprising. He would have tried to do what is right by you and the baby but his heart wouldn't be in it and he would have a feeling of betrayal from you, a sense of being trapped. IF you got pregnant without his enthusiastic knowledge and consent you're going to have to deal with the fallout and this just may be part of it.
That aside, the two of you are in it, have created a new life and made a legal committment. Unless you agree to an open relationship, he needs to abide by the rules. Maybe some counseling would be in order, to help you both learn to communicate better and to explore what is really going on. He may be dealing with a common problem men experience of realizing that all this sex equipment isn't really just about fun. The pleasure is natures way of balancing the huge responsibity of continuing the species. Women bleed monthly, we know there is more to it than fun sex because we get reminded with a mess every month. Men just wake up with a hard on, it doesn't exactly prepare them for all this. Having a baby should be an exciting time, full of expectations and anticipation. It's a huge committment that will last a life time. I'm sorry you are dealing with this heartache at this time. Get counseling, even if he won't, use this time to develop some new coping and relationship skills.
No, we lived together for four years and we both agree that it was time for us to get married and have our own family. We had always had a really good relationship until now. My pregnancy wasn’t a mistake we planned it and he was really happy, but scared.... At the beginning I thought it was normal but he would always tell me thing like “You are not mine anymore” “I feel like a dog, you tied me down” “its unrespectful for us to be intimate don’t touch me” He even told me that he felt jealous of our baby and things like that. I’m really confuse but thank you all for the advice
OMG...he feels jealous about the baby already? Sorry but he sounds like a head case...he needs some type of therapy 4 sure. What will happen once most of your time is devoted to the baby once he/she is born? UUmmm..I think this guy has some cooky ideas..by saying its wrong to get intimate.
For some reason alarm bells rang in my head with your last post...and what your partner thinks...hope Im wrong.
Coral-sky
I still think that he is immature can not cope with "commitment" Can't handle pregnancy at all, and he is the one being dis-respectful.At the beginning I thought it was normal but he would always tell me thing like “You are not mine anymore” “I feel like a dog, you tied me down” “its unrespectful for us to be intimate don’t touch me” He even told me that he felt jealous of our baby and things like that
You were together a long time, planned this, and he treats you like this and has an affair, "claiming that he is not" but still speaking with her as well, and jealous of his child / your child ....
Just concentrate please on you at the moment, on your pregnancy, the next two months, that is what is important, YOU and your baby.
He then has a chance to say sorry i don't know what came over me, when the baby is born, or you can say, bye the baby and i don't need you and someone else will come into my life and raise our child that is worth of me, as i am special and important and don't need cheaters and dis-respect.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
some men go thru this when their wife gets pregnant. They no longer view them as the fun sex machine they are now a baby machine. Having sex with you would be "dirty" to the baby. He's right if he is sleeping with other people and you.
He needs some couselling and to change his mindset and persception of this whole event. It is suppose to be a happy exciting moment and fear is crippling him and tearing you apart.
Look after yourself and your baby. Know that you are beautiful and wonderful and have a wonderful life growing inside waiting to be loved and nurtured. Know that you will be a great mom regardless of what shows up at your door.
He is not cheating on you he is cheating himself out of the greatest experience of his life and the greatest thing he will ever create or accomplish in his life.
Well I have read everyones replys to your post and can say I agree with everyone in a way. My husband cheated on me after being together with him now 14 years, 4 years of marriage and 4 kids later and well either you can give him time to realize he is a and he figures things out and and grows a brain and you take him back or you have your baby and yourself to think about and move on. I don't know if my situation is a good example or not but my husband made a mistake and is trying to fix it knowing he was the and I am trying to forgive him and move on but let me tell you either way it goes for you it's going to be hard.
Hold your head up high and think of that baby first then you and what you need to be happy as if your happy your baby will be happy and thats all that matters.
Be strong and know that there is always things in life that could be worse and this is just something you deal with and move on. Remember life is what you make it not what it makes you!!
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