how do you get over someone you love?

**In-Need** · 10-28-2008 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by N01

"how do you get over someone you love?"

A big part is realizing and admitting to yourself that you are human, and stuff happens, and that it generally happens for a good reason.

you also need to remember that you are
Ya good person, and that you will be OK.

I realize I'm just quoting what N01 said here, but i just wanted to emphasize it again, because I believe these are the 2 main idea's we all forget from time to time - Ya did it again N01, down to earth - truth!

**justlikeheaven** · 10-28-2008 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by Davey

Sometimes just getting out of bed can seem like an impossible feat. I know sweetheart, just give it time.

this is exactly how i felt today.
last night, my best friend had a talk with him, & basically he has forgotten about me.
this made me think of everything all over again and i was so emotionally drained that i did not sleep very well.
this morning i woke up & had no intention on going to school. for one, i didn't want to see him in the hallways. and two, i felt like i had no point.
i'm making myself sick just thinking about everything we've been through & i want to cry..but i can't.

**Davey** · 10-29-2008 01:18 AM

I swear we must be polar opposites or something. My best friend talked to her yesterday too. She doesn't even want me to have her new number. Completely moved on..... It just hurts so bad, I'm in like this state of numb hopelessness. I never thought sum1 could make me feel this worthless. Somedays I don't even get outta bed
. Sigh...it's 240 and my first class is at to which I have to commute. War are you gonna do...we just gotta try our best to Move on, cause while were here feeling like this, there prolly having a great time. Were the last thing on their mind. Just no it's someone out there who understands and is feeling ur pain. I won't quitt if you won't. ; )

**Aithneu** · 10-29-2008 03:17 AM

Originally Posted by justlikeheaven

this is exactly how i felt today.
last night, my best friend had a talk with him, & basically he has forgotten about me.

i'm making myself sick just thinking about everything we've been through & i want to cry..but i can't.

Coming from the person who is always the "dumper" not the "Dumpee" just know he hasn't forgotten about you, but he's going to act like it. He's going to pretend he doesn't see you because if he says Hi he either
A) must accept you as an equal and friend
or
B) he is afraid you will think there's a chance of you two getting back together.
He's going to be shady for a while but he'll be back. TRUST ME! and also hunny, no matter what act like everything is the way it used to be (on a friend level). Even if he won't say hi to you, give him a smile and keep your girls at your side so you feel confident enough to do so. I know everything isn't okay right now, but sugar you gotta act like it or he's going to sprint the opposite direction. You gotta show him that it's okay for him to move on and that maybe you're too busy to do so but you could if you wanted to (even if you don't think you can). It's high school, dearie so there will be another guy, and soon!

**WildChild** · 10-29-2008 08:11 AM

There is something in what Aithnue says, on a couple of levels. Sometimes if you give a guy some space they will relax and realize they enjoyed your company more than they thought they did. They get to feeling smothered faster than most women. But you can't count on that. It's a possibilty not a guarantee.

You're at an age where there is a lot of experimenting and trying things out going on. At this time in their lives most males find someone to attract them pretty much everywhere they look. They are (and girls are too) still defining what really draws then to one girl over any others. It can take years. For many people this is part of the learning process that leads to being able to make a long term committment. From this standpoint the idea of young people limiting themselves to one long term relationship this early is a bad idea. Some do, there are people I know who dated all through high school, got married and were still together at our 30 yr reunion - everyone is different. But finding the right one that early is unusual.

Aithnue's advice to basically put on a happy face and look like you are moving on is good. Your brain can't tell when you are lying to it. If you put on a smile, pretty soon you'll feel happier. Actual tests have been done that prove that the act of smiling - even if your heart isn't in it, will alter the chemicals in your brain and you'll start to feel better. It only takes couple minutes to work! You will get over this heartache. While No1 is right, you'll always carry a bit of the experience as part of who you are, there will come a time when you may even look back and wonder why you were so attracted to that guy? But for right now, get up, put a smile on your face and stay busy!

**shweedart** · 10-29-2008 01:56 PM

Sounds like he'd been getting over you for a while, not just 4 days. And you think you love him? or you do love him?

**justlikeheaven** · 10-29-2008 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by shweedart

And you think you love him? or you do love him?

i'm not sure how to answer this.
i think i do love him.

if that makes sense? lol

**justlikeheaven** · 10-29-2008 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by Davey

I swear we must be polar opposites or something. My best friend talked to her yesterday too. She doesn't even want me to have her new number. Completely moved on..... It just hurts so bad, I'm in like this state of numb hopelessness. I never thought sum1 could make me feel this worthless. Somedays I don't even get outta bed
. Sigh...it's 240 and my first class is at to which I have to commute. War are you gonna do...we just gotta try our best to Move on, cause while were here feeling like this, there prolly having a great time. Were the last thing on their mind. Just no it's someone out there who understands and is feeling ur pain. I won't quitt if you won't. ; )

that's crazy how both of our best friends talked to them. it makes me feel better knowing people can find someone else who's going through the same thing

and i'm taking you up on that challenge also

**N01** · 10-29-2008 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by justlikeheaven

i'm making myself sick just thinking about everything we've been through & i want to cry..but i can't.

Can't or won't. go ahead and have the cry, mourn the loss of the relationship. It's OK!

you will get through this. you dont have to pretend to be strong in front of him, nor do you need to pretend to be devastated. Just be as you feel. Keeping it wrapped up inside will only make it take longer for you to begin to turn it around.

It's taken me 2+ months to get over the loss of a close friendship, but as of 12:25pm today, I'm done. no more crying, worrying how she's feeling, what I could have done differently.

You can do that too! but the longer you put off admitting your feelings to yourself and letting them do what they need to do, the longer it'll take before you are ready to move forward.

you will be OK!

xoxoxo

**N01** · 10-29-2008 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by justlikeheaven

i'm not sure how to answer this.
i think i do love him.

if that makes sense? lol

OF COURSE YOU LOVE HIM!!!!!

You will always have some love for him in your heart. we never stop having some of those feelings for people we have been involved with, even if it ended badly. There is no "One Person" for any of us. We can all have a number of people who come into and out of our lives, and have feelings for. Take solace in the fact that there was something there, and for awhile it was great.

But it's time to heal and move ahead.

You just have to let yourself do it.

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