justlikeheaven

i've been in a relationship with someone for about 9 months. i really think i love him & i'm finding it really hard to stop.

a few days after he told me he just wanted to be friends, he's already talking to some other girl.

how on earth did he get over me that fast?
was it because i wouldn't have sex with him? is that a reason guys would completely give up on the perfect girl?

i just don't understand how to get over the fact that i love him & i probably mean nothing anymore.

CHANDLERS WISH

I think that you need to realise that you were "more" because 9 months with a woman whom doesn't have sex, is a long time and can only mean that he loved you, to do that.

He may however, have been tempted by other girls, and wants to experience sex as he hasn't for a long time.

Are you stating you are a Virgin?

Can I ask how old you both are?

And, were you both intimate in other ways?

Also, off course you love him, but you ask how come straight way, well how was the relationship between you say the past 2 months?

What is it that you love about him..

Tell us some more to help you.

CW

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It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

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you must believe!

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justlikeheaven

yes, i am a virgin. the only reason i chose not to have sex with him was because we weren't technically boyfriend & girlfriend.

we're both 18

& yes, we were intimate in every other possible way besides sex.

within the last 2 months, things would be fine when we're together but he would ignore me otherwise, like at school or when other girls were around.
the last time i spent with him was weird. at first, he didn't want to kiss me. and it took him a while to want to. but then as the night went on, he had asked me to have sex and i said no. after that, he only tap kissed me goodbye. and then about 4 days later, he had told me, in a text message, that he just wanted to be friends.

but anyway, the list of what i love about him can go on & on. i basically loved everything about him. everytime i'd see him i'd fall a little more in love. i loved everything he did. from the way he kissed me to the way he got mad. because he can never stay mad at me. i loved the way he touched me, not even intimately, just in general. i felt like i always had to be touching him, like as long as we were touching, i'd be okay. i loved the feeling of butterflies he gave me whenever i'd see him unexpectedly. i loved the way he moved his hair. i loved the way we just laid together on his trampoline, looking at the sky, and kissing me under the moon.

it just makes me want to cry. why would he want to give that up?

Livelaughlove

Im really sorry for what happened to you and my heart goes out to you.

I think that you still are very young. I understand that feeling you get when he is around and when he is not. The fact that It is only amplified now because he is not around.

My suggestion to you is when you find yourself thinking about him try doing something productive. To keep you mind busy. This May be the best thing you can do, but also the hardest. Just don't sulk wishing he was there with you, because it wont help you and it will emotionally drain you.

You'll have better man in no time. There are plenty of cute and smart guys in school... Get to know some. It all starts with a smile. Just hold your head up.

Afterall "Every friend you have was once your stranger"

Wish you the best

Live laugh and love

__________________
Nice guys don't finish last, weak guys finish last.

CHANDLERS WISH

Do you remember when you said, "your right, he doesn't deserve me" to Joy on another one of your threads?

And, you were asking the question, do you have sex with him because he was asking you to...

I also feel for you but the thing is, you asked all those questions and as a bit of time has passed, he clearly has given you the answer as to whether you can form a serious relationship or not.

You said no to sex and you do deserve better, and you will find better.


Maybe re-read your other threads and the answer on those threads and how you felt at that time.

It's not all bad... You had your first love, and it hurts but now you will meet someone who actually wants to be your boyfriend...

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

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justlikeheaven

the wierd thing is that i KNOW he doesn't deserve me, but yet i still can't get over him.
he means so much to me, and i know he shouldn't because i probably mean nothing to him.
i really don't understand myself. sometimes i hate him, but then a few minutes later i'll be like ugh, i miss him so much. but i know i need to get over him, i just physically can not do it.

crzyredhead21

Oh honey! I knwo what you mean! I don't knwo if this is your first love but mine was pretty similar. It DOES get better. I agree with LLL... when you want to just lock yourself in your room and listen to sad songs, do smething productive instead. Even if it's just washing the dishes. It does help. You need to focus on YOU. YOU are thr most important person in your life! Do not give him that much power over you. You did the right thing by not havign sex with him. He obviously did not deserve it!

I will tell you a little secret I learned when I was younger. SOME men at that age are only interested in one thing and oen thing only. The almighty sex! You happened to meet one of these unfortunate creatures but know that you WILL get over him.. and yes.. it is a process. Kidn of like grieving. Let yourself grieve for what could have been but make sure that you take care of you! Good luck!

CHANDLERS WISH

Your not experiencing anything in-different than what we have all experienced, in youth, be it male or female.

Smile... It hurts but you are strong... you said no... so you are a strong person and good for you..

Be proud that you did that, it could have been way worse hey...

Look in that mirror and say, " I actually am not only strong but smart".. ooh and beautiful.

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod

Davey

I'm coin through a bad breakup also. She moves on like i was nothing and i have to say im pretty numb still. Actually im ........scared. She doesn't deserve me at all either. But I really loved her with every fiber of my being, so it's pretty rough on me. There's nothing anyone can do or say that's gonna make you feel better if you really loved him, it's almost like bereavement in a way. Just do your best to move forward and take it one day at a time. It won't happen overnight, but things will get better. When your going through the situation, everything is easier said then done. Sometimes just getting out of bed can seem like an impossible feat. I know sweetheart, just give it time.

N01

"how do you get over someone you love?"

You never do. you always carry some piece of them with you. You may absolutely hate them and never want to see or talk with them again. But there's always something there.

You will be able to get over him in a sense and be able to move on. we all have done that or are in the process of doing that now. A big part is realizing and admitting to yourself that you are human, and stuff happens, and that it generally happens for a good reason.

You also need to remember that you are a good person, and that you will be OK.