Thread: boyfriend sleeping over

I started to say this earlier but didn't, I want to tell a true story -
When I was 22 I use to date this 18yr old that I tho't was 1 of the foxiest girls I ever met. Her parents were Catholic - They had 2 bedrooms that were really in the 1 same long room divided by a curtain, the the total beds were 3, her brothers and a sister.

After a party 1 night she asked me if I wanted to stay with her at her parents home, it kinda floored me because I just wasn't use to that, never been offered that kind of choice from a girl her age. It kinda worried me, but she said her parents had know problem with it.

I tho't why not this is cool - So we made love and all that stuff and the next morning her older sister visited us in the bed just talking with us, we are still under the blanket and all, ya know?

I really enjoyed it and tho't it was just great, her father then later that afternoon took her and me out for lunch, really nice guy. Never once did he say or hint as to what went on the night before, I was scarred to death, her age and all I guess. I always dated older women than myself.

But now years later, much later, I feel so different about it all. You see what I put in my 1st post and you see what I did way back there and how I tho't it was great - Time changes many things in us Humans Just wanted to share the story Hope it made some sense?

Maybe it is a cultural issue here... I keep having these thoughts.

1- Does your boyfriend respect you? (I have no idea how old he is.)

In my neck of the woods, a young man is man enough to have intercourse, he is man enough to take his responsibilities and think about a long term commitment and get an apartment and make it in the world.

2- Does he respect your family values?... He is upset because he cannot hump you at your parent's house?

3- Do you respect yourself?

You say you are 17, I do not mean to be forward, but is he the "first" man you have had sex with?...

Did you ever think that if ever you break up with him, will you just bring the next guy you are banging in your bed in your parent's house?...

I understand their point of view... I do not understand the behaviour of your boyfriend towards your parents...

4- Have you ever wondered, how many other young women his parents have met that he brought in their house?...

I mean, I have a guy friend and when we were younger, as friends, we referred to his string of girlfriends as numbers... His parents did that too...

My friend's parents just saw it as a growing up phase and they preferred he bang the young women in their home in a safe environement and hopefully in that process preventing unwanted pregnancies but it just has to be weird... Banging each other while the parents watch the evening news... It is was just too weird then and it is too weird now.

Take it for what it is... It is your life and your path...

1- Does your boyfriend respect you?
He's the same age as me and respects me a lot more then most people do. He's not lazy either, he's got 3 jobs, he works hard at everything he does! he really is everything i'd want in a boyfriend


2- Does he respect your family values?... He is upset because he cannot hump you at your parent's house?
That's not why he gets upset, by any means! He's more worried that my parents don't like him and whether we have sex or not isn't an issue


3- Do you respect yourself?

You say you are 17, I do not mean to be forward, but is he the "first" man you have had sex with?...
yep, he was my first everything apart from a kiss

Did you ever think that if ever you break up with him, will you just bring the next guy you are banging in your bed in your parent's house?...
no chance, he's also the first boyfriend I've brought home to meet my family

I understand their point of view... I do not understand the behaviour of your boyfriend towards your parents...

4- Have you ever wondered, how many other young women his parents have met that he brought in their house?... 2 girls, the first he was with for 2 years and the other about 4 months and we lost our virginity to each other so he wasn't 'banging' anyone in his parent house

Aw, honey. Getting you down isnt it?

Does it make you feel any better knowing that my parents still wouldnt let a boyfriend sleep in the same bed as me now, and im 7 years older...

Luckily, i have my own place

I dont think there is anything that you can do, but to respect their wishes and stay at your boyfriends house more often.

Your man should understand, its not that they dislike him.. they are just protecting you.

Keep respecting their wishes for a month or so, and then approach them maturely again... stating that youve been together for a year, youre serious about each other and you'd really appreciate being able to cuddle up at night.

Miffed, yours is the first one thats made me feel more calmly about the situation

Ah well, he hasn't stayed in my house yet so I'm not missing anything ...plus his bed's more comfy

I don't think one of my boyfriends had stepped in my house with the exception of using the phone or bathroom...I wasn't allowed to sleep at thier houses either, I didn't even consider asking until I got with my fiance, and by then I was pregnant and he still didn't want to let me sleep at his house let alone ours...Like CW said I think its the visual of what could be happening, even if it isn't....I shared a room with my little brother, so it definatly wasn't happening either!
But I'm 20 now and have a 2 year old daughter and I couldn't imagine my fiance and myself letting her boyfriend sleep over...so I guess I kinda understand where our parents are coming from...Keep doing what your doing, and Good Luck