Thread: Where should i start?

No, no, no! A thousands times No! A child will not solve your problems. Children are a huge responsibility and they are not a solution to your problems. You are looking for something outside yourself to solve a problem that is inside you. While a new hair style or clothes may perk you up a bit, as you discovered, it doesn't last. Those things are easily changeable if you don't like them or change your mind. A child is a lifetime committment and very needy and very expensive, there is no changing your mind when you find out that instead of solving your problems they have increased them. A real sense of self worth comes from within. Knowing that you have value, and deserve to be treated well and to have the best. That starts with you treating yourself well, believing in yourself, acting for yourself. You can't get that from anyone else and certainly not from a baby!

Start with learning to love yourself. Make a list of all the good things about yourself, all the things you know how to do, things you like or love, what you like about yourself. Your list should be at least a couple hundred items long. Keep adding to it. Get goofy if you have to but focus on the positive. When ever you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself get out your list and counter it. "I may be clumsy today but I'm a great friend or I can run a mile without getting tired!" Just keep yourself positive about yourself.

Are you in school or working? Find ways to learn new things, to better yourself. Here's where environment and appearance counts - get rid of anything you don't love, better to have half as many clothes and love the ones you have, than to have a closet crammed full of stuff you don't like. Better to be sitting on the floor than on an ugly falling apart sofa. While you are cleaning out the stuff in your life, clean out the stuff in your head too. Get rid of the the thoughts that don't help you or move you forward. Two great books for this are, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstatter and In The Meantime by Iyanla VanZant.

Start exersizing, get out and walk or run everyday, even if it's just 15 mins. No excuses. Set some goals. What do you want from life? How can you get it ethically and morally? Visualise, where do you want to be in life in one year, five years, 10? Make yourself a dream book or dream board. How can you get there (no, marrying or babies aren't solutions, to getting there - they are rewards once you are on your way). The bigger your goals the better chance of success. Aim low and miss - you are still low, aim high and miss - you are higher than you started.

Solve your problems before you bring anyone else into your life picture as anything but a freind.