Dating your ex's best friend?

**Aithneu** · 11-11-2008 01:16 PM

Okay so when I first moved here a month ago I met two guys in a bar that were both buying me drinks. The one I was more interested in (Cory) never asked for my number but the other (Ryan) did. So I started hanging out with him but I found that I wasn't attracted to him so when he made his move I shut the poor guy down. A week later I ended up kicking it with the Cory and hooking up with him.

Here's the problem. Ryan is now really depressed and calling two of his exes threatening suicide. On top of all that I found out that him and Cory are best friends. I wish one of them had bothered to tell me earlier bc I didn't want to be in the middle of all this. And last nite when I was having sex with Cory, Ryan was in the next room and started texting Cory saying how much he hated him, I thought you were my best friend etc.

Usually I would just look past all this and tell Ryan to grow up but I had an exbf who killed himself over the same reasons. He gave me warnings and I told him to get over me and the other girl he was worried about. He didn't and now he's dead. So at this point I'm not sure what to do. I think I have to break it off with Cory but I wonder if that will help Ryan? What should I do?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-11-2008 02:40 PM

I met two guys in a bar that were both buying me drinks. The one I was more interested in (Cory) never asked for my number but the other (Ryan) did.

I found out that him and Cory are best friends. I wish one of them had bothered to tell me earlier bc I didn't want to be in the middle of all this. And last nite when I was having sex with Cory, Ryan was in the next room

I think that firstly as you met " two guys" together buying you drinks, it's obvious that they know each other, best friends or not they are/were friends.

It appears then that you knew that Ryan was in the "house" at the time you had sex and off course so did Cory.

So, I think that Cory is "not" a good "friend" as friends don't do that to each other, that is a slap in the face, insult if he is aware that Ryan had liked you..

It's very short time phrame 1 month to "fall in love" but Ryan may be very sensitive.

I think that if you "both" really like each other and it's not just sex, then you should discuss other ways/places to meet personally.

It may just be a passing thing for you too, so no point hurting someone's feelings I think...

CW

**silvertae** · 11-12-2008 12:36 PM

Yeah, I have to wonder what you were doing having sex with Cory in a room right next to Ryan in the first place. That seems kinda cruel. I think you should distance yourself from both of them. Ryan is clearly unstable and Cory is a bad friend. Neither sound like good friend or boyfriend material.

**Aithneu** · 11-13-2008 03:14 PM

Of course I wouldn't have done that if I knew Ryan was in the next room! And the night I met them was in a bar at a punk show and I didn't know they were friends- I mean when Cory's band was playing I was kicking it with Ryan but after that show Ryan was in the mosh pit and I met Cory separately. I had no idea what I was getting into. And now that Ryan is acting like such a freaking child (and there are a few other girls involved as well..I guess he feels like he's just not good enough bc girls keep getting "stolen" from him) I am not sure what to do any more. I have decided to take Cory to coffee and break things off. I want to be friends bc being over at his house I've made friends with his roommates and since I'm new in town I can't afford to lose my group of friends. Well I'll let you guys know what happens.

Thread: Dating your ex's best friend?

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

Dating your ex's best friend?

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions