Sex when I didn't want it... and now a baby

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-20-2008 02:06 AM

Well these things are waying up on you now... You told your mum through a letter but hey, she stood by you yeah? I don't get mad, angry but kind of am a bit , 7 months?

Anyways, he would tell you, will tell you things to make you feel you have to do what he says... But, you don't anymore, you told your Mum one thing, now tell her the rest as I said.

I get low blood pressure very very rarely but I do, so i know the low iron thing and dizzy trust me, just please, be happy and tell her, everything...

You will be ok... She WILL be there as she is now and he can get knicked... I am being calm lol.

CW

**silvertae** · 11-20-2008 05:50 AM

Move away with your family and get away from him. Please. He is not a healthy influence in your life OR your daughter's. You need to tell your parents about all the he has done. You need to tell EVERYONE so that if things ever come to a serious head (like he tries to take the baby away) you will have a lot of people who know what he has done and will stand by you. Just, seriously, he's abusive and you need to cut him out of your life.

**WildChild** · 11-20-2008 07:41 AM

CW being her usual wonderful self has given you some good advice. I'll second that you must talk honestly with your parents! See if you can get into counseling or a support group and learn some techniques for asserting yourself not only with your child's father but in your life.

You were way too young when you got into this relationship and didn't have the skills to cope and stand up for your self, you must develop those! It may seem contrary to your nature but you can learn to assert yourself in a positve way. This is a vital skill in your adult life. You are old enough now that you have to take responsiblity for your choices and letting someone else control you is a choice. Choice to make your own decisions! This guy made really poor ones for you, you've started making your own, keep it up.

I don't know where you are but check out the legal aspects of your situation in most parts of the US you can't legally deny the father's right to see his child but you can get a schedule or restrictions on that, especially if you can show neglect or abuse. I'm sure every country has guidelines and laws regarding parenting time and visitation as well as child support. Unfortunately, some people will use a child as a tool to try to control or hurt the other parent so protect your little one by getting things established legally.

If you are continuing to living with your family, which sounds like a very good plan right now, why can't you continue college or university? Perhaps part time? You have a child to support and a good education will give you more options, it will give you more self confidence and you shouldn't go through life feeling at any level that your baby was a mistake that prevented you from living your life to it's fullest. As CW has pointed out, children learn from us from the first day and your example teaches far more than your words will. Give her a productive, involved mother who sets an example of the life you want her to live.

I'm another who has had intermittant anemia and naturally low blood pressure. Exersize helps and try taking chlorophyll, I like the liquid (with water) it also comes in a capsule. It's the most usable iron for your body. Taking most iron supplements, will constipate you and your body can't use it well anyway.

Hang in there. You and your daughter have had a rocky start but get strong, stay strong and you can have a great life!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-20-2008 02:21 PM

I am going to ask, that you come back and let us know that you spoke to your parents if you will..

Sometimes a post is on people's minds and they like to know that it all turned out ok...

Need further advice before you do, then we are all here as well.

CW

**Purple&Black** · 11-20-2008 10:22 PM

Thanks, I haven't gotten the chance to talk to them yet (they've been really stressed from moving and everything, packing the van. And now my parents have a cold, and doesn't wanna get my daughter ill... so they've been keeping away... so kinda hard to talk to them)

But I will... not just for my daughter but for me as well... I've recently learnt to think about what I want and I plan to make sure I do what I think is best for my life.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-21-2008 12:14 PM

Good for you.

But whilst you are keeping away from your parents, or them you should I say, because of a cold, where are you staying? If I can say, don't "play your cards" with him, don't let on that you are thinking clearer now, about your life and that of your daughters, remember , he threatened you, ok..

Keep that to yourself until you have spoken to your parents and are with them, they will help work out the next step, be careful is all I am saying..

CW

**Purple&Black** · 11-21-2008 01:59 PM

I'm still living with them, they just stay in thier bedroom.
I don't really see him so much anymore... and he still says he loves me wich is really annoying, but he said something about not coming with me because he's goig to start working? Well yeah, I've been trying to ignore the 'I love you' stuff, so far I've done pretty well.

**Purple&Black** · 11-28-2008 05:24 PM

Okay, just to let everyone know, my parents know. They said they didn't like the way he treated me but they thought if I was happy then okay.

Now they know and they feel a little annoyed with themselves, but Ididn't get to talk to them much. He still does the 'I'm sad, you broke my heart, I love you' thing, but he's also been trying to mess up the relationship my sister's in...

The only problem I have now, really, is that I now feel like I 'like' someone else... but I'm moving and he doesn't want to come with me and we don't want a 'long distance' thing...
And I like him more than when I started liking my ex, but I dunno if it's worth it...