One year, nothing special?

**Panda890** · 12-14-2008 07:25 PM

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. We've graduated high school together and are going to college together. Neither of us has dated anyone else as long as this, and i personally have never been in love with anyone else besides him.

We have both had sex with one other person, our ex's. He has said many times that he wishes he never had sex with his ex, and he knows I regret having sex also. He brings up the fact that he wishes we had both been virgins when we met and that since we've both done everything, theres nothing new to do together. He said the other night that theres nothing special between us.

For some reason, that hurt me a little bit because I believe there is something special here. I know he doesnt say things like that to hurt me, but when your boyfriend tells you he doesnt think theres anything special at all about the relationship to him, how am I supposed to feel. I know he wishes I had been a virgin, and I am the same way, but I know its all in the past.

Sometimes he says things like, I dont want anyone else to see you naked and that its bad enough that other guys have. He doesnt like to go to parties with me because he doesnt want other guys to check me out. He says he isnt jealous, but I dont see how he isnt.

I really want advice on how to feel better about the "ex-sex" thing. We both regret what we've done but I think we're both having hard times not thinking about eachother's ex.

**blessed0812** · 12-14-2008 07:52 PM

i believe he may feel insecure, maybe you should tell him that he is the only person you want and regardless if other people check you out, with him you will always be. dont just do this 1 time but try to constantly let him know that you would never leave him from anyone else. Let him know that your ex is in the past, his ex is in the past and the only thing you both can do is live the fututre trying to make eachother happy. be sure you tell him how you feel.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-15-2008 02:04 AM

Never regret what you have done.... He is using his own "phsycology" on you, what he feels and as a result, you are feeling it...

He is jealous... If he wasn't he would state " I don't want to go to parties, because I don't want other guys to check you out".

There is an abundance of things you two can explore and be, that you have never ventured before, one is the deep feelings that you have, that have never really been expressed as before, it just was..

I am 45 and loving it, but let me tell you the above is a fact... I know of things that I personally have never experienced, other than by myself, and the deepness of love, it's something that is real..

So, if this guy, can't see past the thorns, then he can't smell the roses.

He views things as, well you aren't a Virgin, if you were you would be my Queen but you are almost, so I will ensure that no one sees you, maybe I can do this.

He, has issues... You are feeling those and unfortunately taking them personally as he wishes for you to do.

I believe he may feel insecure, maybe you should tell him that he is the only person you want and regardless if other people check you out,

Good advise, he will either get past this or he won't..

You have to guide him into "love" that is what is important, past is past, present is present, future is future.

CW

**Sienna2008** · 12-15-2008 06:27 PM

Your ex is in the past, and he has no right to make you feel this way.. he is trying to bully and control you, and its working. You are worth alot more then that. He might genuinely be upset about it, but he needs to lighten up. You both had sex with your exes, you cant go back and change that. Its not like you cheated on him, you couldn't see into the future.. You don't have to live your life like this.. I know you love him, but he has insecurities which are not your problem.