Thread: My husband left

Thanks, I'm betting on the time thing.

In the long run I am sure this will be for the best. I always have believed that if you are doing the right things, then things happen for a reason.

Later on, I will find out the reason for this.

just some words of encouragement....I have been there too w/ 3 kids( at the time ages: 3, 5, 15). I didn't have job and had a mortgage, second mortgage, and credit card bills dumped in my lap. My ex was an abusive . He wouldn't help financially or see the kids. I was destroyed. BUT>>>>Thank god I had a fairly decent size pension that I cashed in lived off of for 3 months until I got thru training for a new career. I was fortunate enough to find out that Harley-Davidson was hiring w/in 2 weeks after him leaving. I gathered myself up and stuffed every bad feeling inside and put all my energy into getting this job. I went to the United Way, my church, and ACCESS(support for domestic abuse) and they all made it possible for me to give my kids Christmas and stay afloat until I started working. It all paid off...I got the job and was able to support my family and have the biggest "stick it to him" ever.
I did take him back for a short while down the road, but that proved to be a big mistake.
YOU CAN DO IT....REACH OUT TO YOUR COMMUNITY, FRIENDS, AND FAMILY....YOU WILL SURVIVE AND BE STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE. GOD BLESS YOU! Add me to your friend list, keep in touch.

Hey Marple.. I am sorry that your husband lost all his thought processes before Christmas too. Because I have no job.. no money nothing, I had to get government help and as I was sitting there crying the man giving me all the paperwork says "This happens a lot this time of year". I wanted to smack him. Hopefully things are doing better for you now.
I am a little better now. It has been the longest three weeks of my life. I have been keeping a journal and that has helped a lot. I no longer phone him constantly (it made me feel like a stalker but I really couldn't help myself). Having short term goals has helped even if they are little ones like packing up the house, doctor's appointments and when the pest control guy is coming. It gives me something to focus on. My kids have been fighting non-stop now for the three weeks since he left and that I think has been the hardest part. They just don't stop.
I have opened bank accounts in my name only and still I worry about his money and the fact that he can't budget and control like mad. I hate that I still care even though he has caused me so much pain. But if he walked through the door (not that he could because I made him give me the keys back lol) I wouldn't take him back. He has made me feel totally worthless and it feels like I wasted years of my life (just the last 4 or so). He ended up telling me that he hasn't felt right about the marriage for the last few years (ever since we moved from Canada to Australia) and yet he tried to work it all out in his head. I thought we were fine. Sure we disagreed and had arguements but who doesn't? He still says there is nobody else and I have to believe him or I will go mad.
I feel a bit better... I plan to go back to school so that I don't have to have a job that I don't like or want to do. I want to be able to not need to have a guy in my life to make me happy or support me. I have never been alone and it is a little scary. I want to do well and be happy.