I have been friends with this one girl since elementary school. We joke around and have a great time when we're together. She calls me her confidence booster, but sometimes I get so frustrated with her. I have two different situations with her at this moment. I just want an unbiased opinion on what someone else would do to handle this situation.

My girlfriend has a friend, we'll call friend a. Friend A has been in her life for awhile, but is always causing her grief. Friend A is the type of girl that has to out do everyone and is cheating the system. (She's on welfare and is not being totally honest with the government to continue getting higher benefits.) This woman has 2 children and the male child seems to be more important than the female child. (The girl has real dance talent, but the mother won't enroll her in dance classes, but the mother enrolls herself in a gym and has a personal trainer.) This makes my friend angry and annoys her because my friend takes extremely good care of her three children (2 girls, 1 boy). Her children come first in her mind. Friend A is always outdoing my girlfriend. My girlfriend got some new furniture this woman refurnished half her house. Girlfriend wanted a new laptop and Friend A immediately went out and bought a new laptop. My girlfriend got a new apartment, Friend A is now getting a 4 bedroom house rent free. This is upsetting to my friend that she works so hard, but seems to have nothing to show for in return. I try and highlight all the positives in her life, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I've been open about how much I dislike how Friend A is. I dislike the woman's attitude and the way she feels a need to be superior to those around her. My girlfriend sometimes wants Friend A to hang with us when we hit the clubs and I am thrilled when Friend A can't go! (She sometimes can't find a baby sitter.) I want to make my girlfriend realize this person is harmful and nothing but a problem for her that makes her depressed. My girlfriend is a great person and I want nothing but the best for her. Friend A's relationship is parasitic in my opinion. She'll take, take and take but give nothing in return to a friendship. (My girlfriend got friend A a birthday gift, but friend A didn't even get my girlfriend a card on hers. That's all my girlfriend wants on her birthday -- a card acknowledging that the date is important to you! )

My second problem is my girlfriend is skinnier than me by a good deal. I would kill to be her weight/size and she can't seem to understand that. I'm always telling her she's beautiful, but she just won't listen to me. We've both been on the heavier side, but she's always been gorgeous heavy or not. She has given birth to 3 children! Every time she is calling herself fat I want to slap her. The difference between us is astronomical perhaps. She's never judged me poorly and has always accepted me no matter what size I am. I just want her to understand she's beautiful and to accept herself as who she is at the size she's at. Sure she could loose some weight, but I wish it wasn't such a critical issue to her. When she brings it up, I begin to feel fat myself. It's like, you're fat well honey wake up and look at me. She's maybe a size 14 pant and I am a size 22 pant. I've always been fat where she hasn't been. (She's had a couple times in her life where her weight has ballooned, but she's brought it back down.)

I love our friendship for the most part except for those few times where I am left feeling ugly and fat. I want her to understand that I would love to be her weight/size and that she should be happy as she is. I just don't know what to do.