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Thread: Can't stop thinking about my ex lover.

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Question Can't stop thinking about my ex lover.

    I need some help. I've been married for over 20 years. Have two boys. Not happy in my marriage. We have grown apart over the years, he loves me but I don't feel the passion or need for his love anymore. He doesn't feed my soul. 17 years ago I had an affair with a co-worker and feel in love with him, but he had his own issues and we aparted ways. He was always a good friend, a person that I connected with deep in my soul but I couldn't be just a friend to him. I loved him too much to watch him move on. I had to say goodbye to him. So I put everything I had in my family. Love my kids so much but not in love with their dad. I lived a lie.
    12 years later my friend (ex lover) found me on Facebook. We have talked on the phone several times in just a short month. It's as if we have never lost touch. We picked up where we left off. (minus the sex) I care so much about him but don't know if I can be just his friend without falling in love again. I can tell he loves my friendship and we have talked about all the special times we spent together but we don't talk about the future or where it will take us. All this has made me realize the lie I have been living. My soul is dying. It's starving for a soul mate.
    Do I keep living this lie for my kids I put my kids first and die inside? Is there a happly ever after? help

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Blog Entries


    You do what makes you happy and you explain to the children who are no longer children, let's face it.

    Do you want to live a non-existant life for the rest of your being?

    We have one life to live.

    Also, obviously this um, thing you did which was wrong, played a part in why your marriage didn't work because someone other than your husband gave you feelings from the "soul" how could you learn to find that in your husband after that?

    And, so perhaps your husband has the right also to find total happiness in his life, which he has not got over the years ....

    You are really already thinking about this other man again...


  3. #3
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    western australia


    get counselling work on your marriage instead of having a fantasy relationship, stop feeding your need for drama and think of your children. if he was your soulmate issues would not of kept you apart. sounds like you want your cake and eat it too. hope i dont sound too harsh, but you are playing with peoples lives here. your husband sounds like a good man, you have a good life together. be grateful for what you have, stop chasing rainbows or you will lose everything.

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