KSTXBOI

Ok, I am brand new to this site, I have read many different threads throughout and I find there to be alot of helpful adivse.........

Ok, my issue(s) is I spent 10 yrs in an emotionally screwed up, off/on/off/on relationship with a man that I loved, or beleive I loved more than anything in this world. 3 years ago I finally got a back bone and said enough is enough - my needs weren't being met at all............... it was the hardest thing I have to do but to this day I have NO regrets for leaving. He and I were not meant for one another and he has since met someone and got engaged........ Now can some tell me how I get to that spot, to be ready to fall in love?

I have since had many "disfunctional" relationships with married men, because I never have to commit so its easy and safe, little chance of getting hurt - and no I am not proud of it. I have recently met a guy, he is the opposite of every guy I have ever dated, he is single, very kind (genuine) and he just makes me smile. I am not overly attracted to him but I am drawn to him. Being in his presence I feel an odd comfort and security. I would like to see where this heads with him but I am a) not sure how or if I can let my guard down and b) scared to hurt such a good guy.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I start to handle this? Do I walk away because then no one gets hurt??

Very Confussed

CHANDLERS WISH

Seems i say this alot ..

But confidence in yourself, happiness with who you are makes you.

No confidence, non- belief, not wanting to get hurt, not happy with who you are, breaks you.

Thought i would say it differently for a change.....

An abusive, controlling relationship even verbal or emotional can bring you down and keep you down and seems that it did for quite some years...

Now you are older and at some point you said enough, I can do this.

But, then you faltered and said, I am not worth it, or, I don't want to get hurt again, and so you went for what you knew you couldn't have, nothing would eventuate you can't get hurt...

I won't go into that, and I hope if other's do, they do so "respectfully"...

Then you meet a guy who wouldn't hurt a flea ( well he may a flea) but you know what I mean, probably kind, considerate... You are suprised that someone like that can even like you, and you like that, so you are drawn to it.

You think that you prefer, the non-available, or the a tad, rough not the nice guy and so you are worried that you will either fall and not be happy, or hurt this guy and feel horrid.

Well, it's good that you have emotionals but you need to see who you are and be happy with you so that you can attract people like this into your life, as you are....

You don't have to be physically attracted to a person, often you are attracted mentally or emotionally to someone, and then you see them as attractive all way round..

I think you "think" too much personally in my opinion instead of being you and allowing things to happen or not happen in your life.

But, let the past go, totally, it is in the past now.

Never, go backwards, if you know what I mean....

And, well love yourself and allow others to do the same.

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

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