older guy

**believeinmiracles** · 01-20-2009 07:42 PM

okay, here's the deal. I really like this guy (we'll call him Jake), he's a close family friend, he's nice, and extremely attractive now before i say any more i'm gonna add in that he's 20 and i'm 16 (17 in april). i spent the night at his sister's boyfriends house (his sisters boyfriend is his best friend too) in November and he spent the night there too. we both slept in the guest bed and during the night jake and i ended up kissing, then making out and it didn't really get past that. the next morning we woke up and he apologized and we agreed to not tell anyone. the next time jake and i both spent the night there nothing happened during the night but i jerked him off in the morning, when i was done he got up and ate breakfast, nothing was said on the matter. i spent the night there again this weekend and when i went to go to sleep in the guest bed where jake was sleeping, i woke him up to move him over and he did but he moved to the opposite side of the bed and made sure there was no physical contact between us. after a couple minutes i started inching closer to him and after we'd both been lying awake for about 20 minutes he got up and left to sleep on the couch in the living room. i really want jake. what does what he did mean? does he not want to sleep with me or does he want to and is just freaked out cuz it's illegal? please help.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-20-2009 08:36 PM

What possessed the sister's boyfriend to allow you both to sleep in the same bed to start with if there is a lounge?

I don't get that.

Yep, your under-age simple.. He has to be wary of that and obviously he is, simple.

Temptation is difficult and you tempted him...

You are growing and off course get excited over a man that you think is hot, cute, etc... but you have to be realistic too... He's too old for you, your not of legal age and that's all there is to it.

Now, I am not going to lecture, like a Mum, but ask yourself as well, this.

You like a guy so you sleep next to him, in the morning you "jerk" him off... Does that show a serious ladylike person that a guy wants to be with?

That should still be reserved for someone special that you are going out with don't you think, how are they going to ascertain your personality? Will they think wrong thoughts of you? Can it get you into trouble? Be very careful and have a think.

CW

**rcoreyus** · 01-20-2009 11:29 PM

I don't know where you are located, but in the US, he could be in very serious legal trouble, and it really isn't fair to tempt him. He probably is attracted to you, but both realizes it is illegal (if it is in your country), and may feel you are too young.

I know if I were in that situation (and assume not married), it would be a combination of being attracted to a very young woman - and knowing that it was for moral and legal reasons very wrong.

I'm afraid that at the moment you are jail-bait. Even though you might never turn him over to the police (even if you had a nasty break-up), your parents or someone else might. It seems unfair and unreasonable, but you need to wait a couple of years.

**N01** · 01-21-2009 05:30 AM

no idea if he's really interested in you, or just like most 20 year old boys and just interested in girls and sex.

He has a reason to be scared. in a lot of states (guessing you are in the US), he has already committed a crime and could be sent to jail and labeled a sex offender.

I suggest you look up age of consent for where you live. one place says:

Each US state has its own age of consent. Currently state laws set the age of consent at 16, 17 or 18. The most common age is 16 (more than half of the states have this age limit), however the five most populous states all have a higher age of consent (California-18, Texas-17, New York-17, Florida-18 and Illinois-17).

age of consent 16: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia

age of consent 17: Colorado, Illinois, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New York, Texas

age of consent 18: Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

Some states even have a "Position of Authority" law. So if a person is in a position of authority over child, in such cases age of consent is set higher. Like a teacher and student etc. one teacher in my state went to jail for having sex with an 18 year old, even though the standard age of consent here is 16.

Not waiting 3 months could get him 5 years!

**N01** · 01-21-2009 05:33 AM

typo, meant 17 year old about the teacher thing...

**believeinmiracles** · 01-21-2009 06:37 PM

thanks for the advice and just so everyone knows, i've known him for most of my life and we slept in the same bed cuz the living room is freezing cold

**rcoreyus** · 01-21-2009 11:17 PM

Aaahhh. You've known him most of your life. He remembers when you were a little girl - probably felt protective, as if you were his little sister. There are so many emotions, such complex morality, honor duty, law - Its a wonder his head hasn't exploded.

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