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**thack** · 01-23-2009 01:17 AM

"WE" psychics, lol, I didnt mean any thing bad by my comments, I just honestly would not make any life changing decisions based on something that "could be" but doesnt necessarily have to be, especially if it was at a carnival in a mall parking lot, if that makes sense.

Who knows, I dont now if I believe in "soul mates" or not, I believe that there several people for each person, and its our job in life to find one of those people. The whole 1 person only is odd to me, but, perhaps out of the 15 perfect 10's on your personal scale, there is someone who scores an 11... I dont know, I will try to remember this and post about it in like 2 years, :P

I have not really pushed the girl issue as of yet, just for the first time, enjoyed 3 lovely women's company at an irish pub tonight. Sat and just chatted bout this and that, but there was no sexual tension, but then, me being the guy, i honestly wasnt pushing for it, lol, hmmmm wonder where the sexual tension comes from... who knows.... lol.

I am trying not to look at all women in the light that the STBX is being shined on with, its difficult but I dont want to be unfair and dilusional.

I have been spending time with my son daily at the babysitters. He is such an awesome little guy, I think he's starting to remember me, today for example - we were playing in the babysitters back yard, and he walked up to me, gave me the universal "up up" sign, and once I picked him up, he laid hi head on my shoulder and just hugged me. Sat there for a good few minutes which is odd for him at 17 months old, lol, I loved ever second of it, I just laid my head against his and rubbed his back. I sure have missed the little guy, I have been apologizing to his picture on the wall for 7 months now, and now I dont have to apologize any more, I can watch over him, I can guide him a littl, as much as a 17 month old can be, and I can be his daddy. SO, no matter what the X does,I will not let it effect the relationship with my son.

I had my lawyer today tell her lawyer that she was not authorized to move my son from the current daycare (that he's been in for over a year) until the custody was all finalized. Now she gets to see what happens when the other person is home and you cant just do whatever you want with no pushback. I will not be spiteful or vindictive, but I will not just roll over either, I want my friday night to friday morning custody every other week. No matter what it means to my social life, finncial situation, or if i have to take a desk job for a while. Its about the welfare of my son.

I am thinking of hiring a maid service, the house is trashed, just filthy. She obviously did not clean anything before she left, and I figur getting someone professional to clean the house would be nice - this may sound odd but - I dont feel like wiping away some other guys' "hair" from my toilet rim.... (the one in the master bedroom...) call me weird, but I just really do not want to deal with that, lol.

Ty

**WildChild** · 01-23-2009 04:04 PM

Ty, It sounds like you thinking clearly. Getting a service in to do a good cleaning is a good idea. Putting your son first is vital - the thing with kids is that there are no second chances. Kids can often remember more than we give them credit for, my daughter clearly remembers some things that happened when she was barely 2. Maintaining as positive a relationship with his mother as you can is best for your son, he doesn't need to be the rope in a tug of war. If mom's relationship tanks, you may become the mprimary source of stability in his life.

**thack** · 01-24-2009 01:01 PM

Yeah, I could not agree more, the only reason I do not want him changing babysitters yet is because he is all ready showing signs of too much "change" to his little world, so I think keeping him in a familiar place would be very beneficial for him. As well, I can see him a little more there, so there is a little bit of bias there. haha..

I wont do what my mother did, she talked bad about my biological father for 18 years, still does actually, I never wanted to hear that, nor do I now, SO, I will keep my comments to myself around the little one, and I will do my best not to put him in the middle of any struggles, he's a child, not a control measure.

I have been thinking of that whole "if her relationship tanks what is she going to do and how is it going to effect my son" and many people who knew both of us seem to think that she's going to probably hand over custody in the next year because of how she is acting, lying to everyone, partying like a 15 year old (I am guilty of that right now, but I have been out of the world for 7 months, lol, I still get up and go spend 4 hours with the babysitter and my son!) When I get my week's worth of "parenting time" I will be daddy, and the next week when he's with mommy, thats when I will run-amok. but never will I cross into my time with him with partying, thats not fair to him, he's so young he needs to be cared for and properly. SO that is what I am focusing on, trying to learn how to be a single father while I am at the babysitters house, just interacting with him over all, he's really starting to remember me and it makes me very happy.

When I went to see him yesterday, he saw me through the screen / glass door, he stood up and came running towards me squealing and laughing the whole way, then just started smacking the window until I was let in by the babysitter. He then wanted me to pick him up and he just was all smiles and laughs, really makes me feel good inside, lol, I love the little guy. He's grown so much, he's smart, I got an Iphone the other day, and he's extremely interested in it, he all ready figured out the button on the front allows him to get to where he can unlock the key-lock, lol. I had to be careful, he was dialing someone somewhere in the world, lol. But its just amazing how he figured that out (he did it more than once so I know it wasnt a fluke) Its going to be a lot of fun being a daddy again.

Other than that, I am doing ok, the quiet house isnt killing me as much as I thought it would, I have started to do new things, joined an MMA gym, been going out with some friends, met some new girls (kept that at arms distance for sure) just kind of hanging out and being me. Not stressing about "OMG i am home i have to go out and run through as many women as i can" and I think I am doing well with that.

I actually, lol - embarrassing - went and got a pedicure and manicure today, I was laughing at myself, but my hands and feet feel a lot better than they did (7 months in the desert hurts, fingers are so dry they crack and bleed sometimes) so that was a new experience for me. It was actualy kind of fun, the woman who did it is married to a soldier so we just talked about work and army stuff, lol.

Well, I will stop rambling, I am in a good mood today, going to go pick up some house accessories today, i.e. trashcans, cleaning tools, ect.. need them

Ty

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-24-2009 01:11 PM

If you were my son I'd be proud of you.

WT? I am not that old...

CW

**thack** · 01-27-2009 08:00 AM

lol you aren't that old. you are only as old as you feel!

So last night out of no where the X calls me, I have been pushing for time with my son through the lawyer and she called to try and work something out, but made several comments here and there throughout the conversation. She still believes that she is not cheating, she told me that I was to blame for the divorce because all i ever wanted was sex... much much more was said, she told me to stop being immature and I just simply said to her "who's the one yelling on the phone, I am calm and just sitting here talking, I have done nothing but asked for civility in all this, tried to help you save money even, gave you more money then a cheating spouse deserves, I dont even want to sit here and talk to you but I am doing that because I want to see my son."

she got just all bent out of shape, i told her that her cheating basically made her as ugly of a person as could be and that I did not want interaction with her for a long long time, i reminded her of the email i had sent a couple weeks ago saying that I did not want to talk to her. I told her also, just as a heads up that there were a lot more people that did not approve of her actions than just me, and that since we all got back from deployment that it may be a good idea not to go down to the main drag with the BF for a little while, to avoid drama and any drunk SF guys wanting to fight with "that guy". She flared up and said that if anyone touched him she'd disappear into the night with my son, I responded with, I have told every single person that's mentioned it to leave him alone, and I promise that i will not attack your boyfriend at all.

I then told her that talking about this stuff while there was still emotional distress would do no good, she obviously worked herself up so angry at me that she left and i am still angry at how she did it and the fact that she did it, so i said, no matter what i say right now, you are just going to discredit it and blow it off, so leave it be, someday when you are sitting down all alone drinking a cup of tea or something, you will have an epiphany and suddenly you will understand what I have been trying to say for a long time, you did your part and i did my part to bring us here today so stop pointing the finger, own up to your actions and stop denying it.

I am going to meet her at the mall at 1130 to pick my son up, I told her to be alone when I pick him up, I plan to come up, take the stroller, and say thank you, not much more than that.

I did get a little worked up last night because of the phone call, but im getting use to her just blaming everything on me, she even tried to use HPV as something of a reason too, to that i told her she was being ignorant because she had it before we met - which she denies to this day, but im the one that got the phone call in 2001 saying "i have an std, come over and let me explain" but i did not have my evening ruined, I was able to calm myself shortly after the conversation on the phone ended, and one of the girls i met this past week seemed to text in at the right time, lol, and draw my mind away from this 1 dysfunctional woman.

She is still very much worked up towards me and i don't feel like being in the middle of it. I just want my son and that's all.

Just still pushing through to clear my head of her, and I just want to be able to live happily with my son. Anything else, is just going to be icing on the cake.

**tasha_correa** · 02-13-2009 09:36 PM

I am very happy to see that you are doing your best to stay sane. I can tell that your son is your world and that you are going to keep it that way. Make sure you document the days your x calls and save all e-mails you send her and she sends you, better yet just print the e-mails off and put them in a folder. They will deffinatly come in handy, along with what you said about the child support money, print that and keep a copy in the folder as well. Make your self a great case and you will win for sure. Keep us up dated on what happens. Best of luck to you, and you are in my Prayers.