Overreacting?

**ThexMrs** · 02-15-2009 02:10 AM

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship so we weren't able to spend Valentine's Day together. Honestly, no big deal. Valentine's Day has never really been important to me and my boyfriend is a tad bit anti Valentine's Day. Well, it wasn't important to me until this year. I've never been in a relationship like this one. It's true love so I wanted to do something special for him and I did.

I didn't have any money to buy him something and I think that heartfelt, creative gifts are better anyways so I made him a puzzle. I printed off a big heart and cut it into squares to make the puzzle. On the individual pieces I wrote things on them, drew hearts, etc. On the edges of some of the pieces I drew half a heart and then on the peice that connected them I would draw the other half to make a whole one. I put other things on it but the point is that I put my heart into this gift and a lot of thought and time.

This whole week I have been really excited about him getting it. We've talked about it (not telling him what it was) but just about how awesome it was going to be. He said that he knew it would be awesome because of how sweet and loving I am. At one point he even felt bad about the card he said that he sent me because it wasn't "special." I told him not to worry and that no matter what he sent I appreciated it.

So today he called me and we talked for about 20 minutes before he had to go to his sister's house. He said he'd call me later. I told him not to open his card until he could call me. He said he wouldn't. So I wound up going to the movies. (God this is turning into a long story - I apologize) I called to let him know that I wouldn't be around for him to call me back but he didn't answer so I text him and told him the same. Then I went and checked the mail. His card was here. I was SO EXCITED! I opened it and it was very sweet. The outside of it read "I am so in love..." and the inside read, "And you are so to blame." Then he wrote his little letter. I text him again and told him how much I loved it and him.

A few hours went by and nothing... I didn't hear anything from him. Finally I get a picture message with the puzzle I made him. The subject of the picture message was, "I love it!" That was it... I was like, okay okay no big deal. He'll call me tonight and we'll talk about it.

He never called.

I'm trying really hard not to be mad or upset but it really hurt my feelings because he knows how much effort I put into this. I mean I talked about it for three days. I was just excited because I thought it was so sweet and creative.

Well I know why he didn't call. Every Saturday he gets drunk with his brother in law. It's their "Man time" or whatever. They watch hockey and jam. Normally I wouldn't care but... It's VALENTINE'S DAY and we couldn't be together. I feel totally blown off.

So here is my question... Am I overreacting? I want to see what you guys say because if I am overreacting I don't want to bring it up though I think my feelings are justified.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-15-2009 02:21 AM

Aweeeeee.........sweet.

Well, we are ALL emotional creatures..

Men , don't hold that, they hold love and only when they have "seen the world" a bit do they realise how special certain occasions are and therefore, how to connect and deal..

He did what he always does..

He thought his comment was enough..

HOLD / WAIT / And, say when you next speak, soooo what did you like about it?

Men are funny creatures... I have spent a life time of non-understanding, these things, a life time, 45?

Now I have someone whom at least cares , shares, and understands, whilst i don't make it a big deal either, as long as I know he loves me, and he knows I him, that's all that is important.

Going to say again.

VALENTINES IS MAN MADE.

Going to say about not having money? Give a ...........Do you know the simple things, time showing what you put together, means more to a person, than any present, or card...

It just does.

CW

**ThexMrs** · 02-15-2009 02:29 AM

I know that "buying" something isn't as good as "creating" something. It's the simple heartfelt things in life that make it so sweet. In all honesty, I prefer this card over when he bought me 4 dozen red roses for my birthday. He took the time to think of something to say to me and it was very sweet.

I know him and when it came to "I love it!" He didn't think that was enough. There is no way. I think that maybe he had the intention of calling me and just passed out when he got home. I really don't think there is an excuse for it though. Maybe he shouldn't have drank so much, lol. I laugh now but I think I'm just trying to hide my hurt feelings.

Why I know he doesn't think "I love it!" was sufficient. A few months into our relationship I made him a movie on my computer. It had our pictures and love quotes, special things that only him and I would understand. It was set to "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers. He gushed over it. He was really emotional about it. He said it was the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for him. This puzzle is just like that. I think that is why I'm upset over it.

I'm not sure that you answered my question though. Do you feel that I overreacted?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-15-2009 02:40 AM

Man... Yes..

haha, I think you are being emotional, I answered it, men aren't emotional.

OKAY, the first time he reacted, "no one had ever done that for him before, right? He got emotional"

Now he knows you, expects, got and commented, he as men do, think.... I have said what I have said, without realising that we are such emotional creates we, need more.

That, my darlin, is your insecurity....

If you can't work out that he meant it heart fold, and that this is his usual "man time" then you are still wondering.

And, rightly so, this is early days for you both, and so you are seeking, finding, learning.

Did you Over act?

Yes, so far,

As , I said, wait and ask tomorrow, so what did you like about it?

CW

**ThexMrs** · 02-15-2009 02:48 AM

Thanks... And this is why I posted this thread. My friend (male and not gay) told me that I should be pissed off/hurt/and call him on it. I didn't agree with him but then I did feel a little hurt. Whatever though... *shrugs*

**sourpuss** · 02-15-2009 02:53 AM

That was really sweet of you. It sounds like he really did like it so I wouldn't fret over it too much.

**ThexMrs** · 02-15-2009 02:55 AM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

That was really sweet of you. It sounds like he really did like it so I wouldn't fret over it too much.

Thanks... I tried.

It's not that I don't think he liked. I just wanted more than what he said at the time. I'm sure he'll say something tomorrow but it's like... Gah! Men. Lol.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-15-2009 02:58 AM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

That was really sweet of you. It sounds like he really did like it so I wouldn't fret over it too much.

Exactly..............

And madam? men, can't , live with them, nor without,,, You wait tomorrow when you sleep, wake and ask, you wil get a response, of honesty.,

You have good relationship, I feel.......

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-15-2009 03:02 AM

If men only knew how easy it was to make us happy lol. A few extra words in that text and you would have floating on cloud 9 the rest of the night. But like CW says, they are just not that way..lol.

Sometimes my boyfriend will say things to me that melt my heart and literally make me gitty with happiness. Other times he will be short and to the point and I'm left wanting more. I'm learning the emotional differences between men and women through my relationship and I think so is he. He's learned more and more what I need to feel secure and gives it to me often, and even then sometimes I want more because I tend to be emotionally greedy, feed me more lol.

I think you are right to want more from him than what he said, but at least you were able to rationalise his thought process, and you are probably right on the money. He was drunk and probably did his level best to get that text out as short and snippy as it was.

He took a picture of it, I think he cherished it, to himself and likely knew you knew he did and felt confident that what he said was fine for the moment. I am sure when he talks to you again hes gonna gush about it for hours, it really was a smart, thoughtful, original and caring gift.

**ThexMrs** · 02-15-2009 03:08 AM

I agree... I think we have a great relationship and I know he does too. The extents he has gone through just to talk to me prove that. At one point his home phone was out for a while and his cell doesn't have good reception. We can thank T mobile for that. I have them too so though it's free for us to talk, it's annoying at times. They don't have any good towers anywhere.

So anyways... He would go to the dug out at the local high school so he could get reception. Keep in mind this was winter and it's freezing out. One time he stood under a tree in the pouring rain, getting muddy. I could hear it and I felt so bad. I just told him to go home. Another time he climbed onto his roof to get reception. It came and went but he would call right back when he had reception again. *sigh* He's awesome.

I don't know where I was going with this anymore. Thinking about him is distracting. Basically, I know he loves me.

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