Thread: Fiance vs. Friends

Hi everyone. I’m new to Women's health and desperately need some advice. Or something. And sorry in advance that this is so long.

I’ve been with my fiancé (more than a boyfriend buy we are not engaged, I do wear his ring and he mine) for over two years now. I come from a small town where everyone knows everyone and I’ve had my share of relationships there. All of my friends are pretty much still there. My guys is completely old fashioned and 11 years older than myself.

I guess I’ll start it off with the bad. I was talking with a friend of mine for the first several months of our relationship and he found out that I had had an intimate relationship with him. He got very angry and has been since then. The “friend” of mine and I stopped talking all together after that. Mainly due to my guy’s threats to leave if I didn’t. So that’s where it started.

He met my best friend and she isn’t your perfect girly girl. From time to time she can so be kind of crude and hasn’t had the best out of life, and has done her share of things she maybe hasn’t. Anyway, my guy basically threatened to leave if I didn’t stop talking with her as well, his reasoning was that she was a bad influence. So about six months into our relationship, I quit talking to her altogether.

Several of my other friends are still back home and I have not spoken with them since the start of our relationship either. Mianly because my guy gets mad every time I try to talk to him about talking to them. He thinks they will be talking all about all of the guys from back home, which I have no desire to hear about. (And they, of course, do know everyone.)

My problem is I miss all my friends and am not sure whether I am doing the right thing or whether his reasoning is sound. I don’t want to get us into a fight and don’t want him to try to leave me over something like that over this problem, I do love him. I’m not sure what to do. I basically have no friends right now, and don’t’ know how to make new ones here, especially since I don’t spend a lot of time away from him, because of problems it causes from time to time.

To add a little to the picture, after I stopped talking to all of the guys I was “friends” with (and had been with or something), including the one guy I mentioned, he has been kind of resentful toward me. He says mean things if we fight, gets agitated easily over things like what music I listen to or shows I watch, for example. I am actually kind of scared to get him mad at me or stand up for myself because it’s so easy for him to fight with me.

Anyway, I hope someone out there can give me some sound advice or at least lift my spirits! It feels good, nonetheless, to get this off my chest and out in the open. If I think of any other pertinent details, I’ll fill you in. I’ll be offline for the weekend after 3 today, but look forward to checking in on Monday! Thanks in advance!