Thread: anxiety? Question

Your actually really helping me a lot and i hope i dont sound repetitive all because sometimes I get like that.

Yes I am a counselor, Im in school for forensic psych but you dont need a masters to do what i do. Im just a mental health counselor, worker whatever for an adult psychiatric unit. Im just part of the support staff. What kind of intern?

Anways, umm I think ive had insecurities about myself overall not just with him as my boyfriend. I have not always felt insecure until he started looking the porn sites and dating sites and i dont think i was the same ever since. You said you were in a situation with your own boyfriend where he was attractive and all the girls would try to talk to him. Your right if someone cheats, thats their decision and it has nothing to do with you but what can I do to work on myself being so anxious? Like exercising? I need to find something to make myself stop worrying about things that arent even there refering to that My boyfriend has said to me he would never cheat on me. He said that he is sorry for making the mistakes (dating sites & porn sites) that he made. I truly do believe he would never cheat on me or do anything like the websites which he did before.

Now your last paragraph stated that its natural to find more than 1 person that your attracted to once. Are you saying looks wise? Meaning obviously, our eyes wonder but of course as a committed relationship, it is paws off....I know it is normal that he thinks this person might be good looking or whatever and thats ok ya know. We are open in a sense that Ive said when asked by him" yeah that guy is good looking or he would say shes goodlooking or whatever but we both know that we would never cheat or for me, i would never cheat again. And they say once a cheater always a cheater but thats not necessarily true because some people learn their lesson & believe me I did.. I made my mistakes and i definetely know that he is the one for me.

This is why I come here when i get anxious sometimes because the women on here really help you.


Your right! I think that my insecurity or my self-esteem issue is that sometimes i feel im not hot enough because of the websites he used to do. It makes me feel like I dont have a good enough body. I need to build my self-esteem!. Him & I are going on vacation in a little over a week, perhaps...I should get some sexy outfits.

Forensic psych - sounds interesting! I've got some classmates interning in pyschiatric units... pretty intense stuff; I'm not sure I could do it! I'm doing career counseling and working with students on academic probation at my internship.

I do think exercise can help a lot, especially if you feel you have a lot of extra anxiety. I always find that along with getting rid of anxiety, depression, and worry, exercise also gives me the chance to think things over as I'm running and to clear and organize my mind. Increasing your meds might help too, as you mentioned... do you have trouble focusing, staying on task? Do you feel like you have too many thoughts at once? Do you have a lot of anxious energy? If you answer yes to these, you might consider reading up on ADD and possibly being tested for it.

Right, that is what I mean by being attracted to others - physically. But on the other hand, some people are even attracted beyond that, which means they are capable of multiple loving relationships at once (called polyamory). Some couples are perfectly ok with that; in fact, some couples are ok with sex outside of their relationship (called swinging or open relationship). The point is though that the couple agrees together what is ok and what is not, that each partner is completely open and honest, and anything outside of that agreement is cheating.

Exercise can really help with your self-esteem, because then you feel more in control of your body. You also might try to figure out what exactly is it that you feel bad about. Is it physical? Like, you hate your legs, etc? Or is it more than that? I used to think all my problems would be solved if only my body looked better. Then I got myself into really good shape, and realized that those insecurities were still there. Which meant that it was more than just something physical. I think that's where the negative automatic thoughts come in, which can be hard to identify at first because they're so ingrained and unconscious.