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Thread: Is it normal for workplace flirting??

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
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    Mar 2009

    Red face Is it normal for workplace flirting??

    I have been married for 20 years and have had a few ups and downs thru the years.
    My husband works in a real estate office with alot of women. He says it is normal to tell dirty jokes and have sex talk back and forth, that it means nothing! Does anyone agree?? I mean, I know it happens, but I believe it make me and him look bad! They are all pretty close and I know all of them(most r married) but I have a big problem with it!

    Heres one thing I found on a email...
    Her: I'm bored
    Him: We should play hookey and go crazy on eachother
    Her: Will u behave
    Then onto work related stuff the next few words.

    He says he sorry, but he can't promise it won't happen again.

    I know stupid things get said all the time but why does it?
    I work with one lady and we don't do it!! If i worked with a man I don't think I would? I blow people off cause I'm MARRIED...

    Whats your opinion??

  2. #2
    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    United States


    Just a few things to consider here:

    He needs to be very very careful about those little emails, even though the women joke and flirt back - you never know when one of them could call him sexual harrasment. Flirting in the workplace is common, kills time, helps people get through there day sometimes but an example like above with his remark then her telling him to behave - even though it was a friendly exchange - the last thing he would want to do is lose his job for it.

    There are some men that are the biggest flirts, talk about sex , talk about every woman being so beautiful, make constant remarks about getting together and hooking up and if anyone ever took them up on it they would completely refuse, and it would probably even upset them. Some guys are very faithful, and play a game of being so flirty but wouldnt ever dream or even want to take things beyond that.

    There are some men that are reserved and respectful, never flirt etc, but WILL cheat on their spouse given the opportunity.

    The point.. you never know what a person is capable of until they actually do it, if his flirting hurts you, you should tell him that, not why its bad, or why he should stop - let him come to his own conclusions there after you explain how it makes you feel inside. I wouldn't stress yourself and worry with reading those little emails unless you have significant cause to think there is a problem in your marriage, he's losing interest in sex, he is keeping unusual hours, etc.. most womens guts will tell them if something is off.

    If he has always been an outgoing flirt, he probably isn't going to change but he should tone it down a little for the first point I made up there. I think its a pretty common thing to creat sexual tension although almost anyone will advise against it, it never ends well.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

  3. #3
    March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array
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    Its tough to say without really knowing the people involved. Sometimes people can tease / flirt without either of them having any serious ideas.

  4. #4
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
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    Before everyone went nuts with lawsuits this sort of stuff was pretty common. There wasn't email or texting but the flirty banter helped pass the time and light things up a bit. Kept it juicy as it were. But there were people who abused it or pushed it past the limits. When I was working on my 30 yr reuinon a few years ago it was so much fun to be around a flirty group for a change. Things have gotten trashy in the media but but dry in other places.

  5. #5
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    Feb 2009


    It can be a tricky situation. These girls are flirting with your husband and he in turn is flirting back. They ALL enjoy it, it's just a matter of who takes what seriously in all of this flirting within the office. One of the girls might just be feeling down about herself or just got dumped by a boyfriend etc and who knows, she might take it further one day in the office (Just an example of how things can get out of control). You really never do know someone. Your husband saying he can't promise it won't happen again, indicates to me that he is one of the front line players in this flirting. If he would all of the sudden stop doing it, the girls would probably start teasing him about NOT flirting because he's probably always done it (maybe even initiated it). I too have been in the same situation before. It is especially iritating when you go to office functions and this nonsense carries over into the function. Teasing and bragging about my BF all night, coming off like they know him better than I do. One girl (who I knew before she started working with my BF) even as much as brought her GF to a function and this girl hung off my BF all night like she had known him forever. The people involved only care about themselves and don't seem to care whether they hurt the other significant half. I have avoided a few girlfriends who work with my BF as they have done things that have insulted me with things they have said or done with my BF. I guess maybe they feel they have a "right" to your significant other because they do work together. All I know is, things do get "out of control" and people usually get hurt, and those people are usually the significant other half.

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