Thread: Telling him I want more

If you’ve seen my previous thread, you'd know that I really like this friend of mine and I wasn't sure if he liked me back the same way because he used to say things like he prefers to have girlfriends who are younger than he is (I'm only a few months older...) He also said that he’s always liked me (for about 2 - 3 years) but not enough for a relationship with me.

One night he was at my house in my bedroom and he was being really flirty, getting me to sit on his lap and would touch me a lot - he kept taking my jumper off my shoulders to rub them and he would put his arms around me, putting his hands on my thighs or hold my hand. After a while, I don’t know exactly how it happened, but before I knew it, we were making out (and I know this is irrelevant but he is a really good kisser )

That was last week.
A few days ago, he came over to mine again, and this time when we were making out he was getting carried away with his hands, going up my shirt. He's said he doesn't usaully do this kind of thing with girls, not even with his ex girlfriends.
Then the next day, I was at his house and he lost his virginity to me.
What I think is strange is that... we've been having this intimate thing going on for only a few days, and this happens - he's had girlfriends for months and didn't go that far. I suppose I'm worried about whether he really wanted it... or maybe he's just always liked me? I don't know...
I also have a problem with the fact that we’re not in a proper relationship – I want to be his girlfriend so badly, but he hasn’t asked me out and I don't know if he's planning to. I know he isn’t calling what we have relationship because he was a bit excited about losing his virginity to me and called me his ''buddy'. This situation is really weird for me, even though I’m really enjoying it.
I think he wants to be with me though… but you know there’s always a chance you’re wrong about these things, he does make jokes alot so I guess it's a little hard to tell when he's actually telling you something.


I want help on how I could let him know I want that to go out with him properly, I want to tell him I really do like him but I don't want to freak him out or anything, you know? I guess I think he might want to be 'the man' and do it himself - if he wants me to be his girlfriend. It’s odd, I mean we act very much like a couple and if people were to see us together they would certainly make that assumption without a doubt in their mind.
I was going to be telling him today that I liked him, but then things came up so I couldn’t see him today. I want to tell him in person, and I want advice on how I should say/word it...
“I really like you?”
"I want to be with you?"
I don't know, what would you guys suggest?

Thanks for reading

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Sometimes couples have sit down meetings where they discuss becoming a couple, I suppose. But many just fall into it, over spending time with each other enjoying each other, becoming comfortable with each other.. then slowly but surely it develops.

This is mostly the case in friends. My BF and I started hanging out, then he asked me if I can be his sweetheart, and I told him I'll think about it. Then I eventually acted like his girlfriend which gave him the "seal of approval". Then we broke up after a month. After a week without communication, we started to reconnect, and we stayed friends for a month, this time, we felt a deeper more spiritual connection between us. And we just felt it coming...eventually falling back into each other's arms. The next month, we joked about being "unofficially official" with our friends and co-workers.Then, we both felt the bond between us, and the next thing I knew, he's introduced me to his entire family.

Your case, as most of us do, is a bit different, yet I hope you got a bit of an insight through my experience. Things had happened between you and him and it is amazing, isn't it?

But, here are some talking points/things to ponder:

1. Does he act like he cares for you as a friend? If he truly does, then he'll be concerned about your emotions and would try hard not to hurt you.

2. How long have you been friends (I am not merely talking about years or months here)... but more on "how WELL do you know him"? If you really know him that much, then you can decode most of his messages, both verbal and non-verbal.

3. Are you ready to take the risk on him? I figure, you ARE!

4. What if...
* he just wants you as a f**k buddy, how'd you deal with it?
* he was just carried away and is not ready for an emotional commitment
with anybody (just being lustful), and it just so happened that you're
AVAILABLE?

I can go on with my litany, but the bottom line is this. You have to know what is going on.

You have to observe cues as to how to proceed with your tactics. You must be subtle and wait for the right moment and place when you ask him. Remember that it is not WHAT you say, but it is HOW you say it.

If you have been really honest as friends, you can corner him in an evening when you're at your place and ask him sweetly. Tell him, can I ask you something...this has been bothering me for a while, and since you are my best friend, I want to be honest with you about how I feel on this issue, and I would appreciate an honest answer from you. Then start with your Q's. Make the atmosphere as light as possible.

If you feel like he's not ready for the blow, then, just revert to plan B, which is OBSERVE, FEEL and DECODE...merely a guessing game, which makes it more exciting! I wish you luck. Keep us posted.