I just lost my boyfriend, how do I move on?

**love1311** · 04-11-2009 02:31 PM

I was with this guy for 2 years and then out of nowhere he left me and 2 days later started dating my friend. I can't see him without crying and he tries to talk to me because he wants to be friends. I can handle it. How do i pull myself up and just move on?
Please just give me any advice you can think of. Thank you!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-11-2009 04:59 PM

love1311..

You don't want to be friends with this guy, because he is feeling guilty.

He is feeling guilty, and I am sorry, but because he went off with your friend.

She obviously wasn't a good friend, or else she wouldn't have accepted, flirted beforehand, and made him think of her, instead of you and the consequence of leaving you.

Both need to be ignored.

You know this happens all the time, I remember it happening to me as well, when I was 18... it happens because there are two types of people in this world, one with morals and one without.

Surround yourself only with positive people and those you know have morals in life, these people aren't worth knowing.

I know two years is a long time.. But there will be someone else and I know that's easy for me to say, and you've heard it all before, but it's true.

Realise what they did and consequently, hold your head up high and tell them both, sorry I don't need friends like you.. and walk away.

Share your feelings here, in writing, share with someone else that is real and close to you, and whilst it will take a while, take the time out for you and start to do things you love and hang out with people you know love you and are true friends.

CW

**WildChild** · 04-11-2009 08:26 PM

Get out with friends, stay busy, find something new to learn, workout, do something creative, journal your feelings, have a good cry. It's normal and ok to feel down for a While but don't wallow in it or get lost in it.

It usually takes time before you get to the point that you can comfortably be friends. SOmetimes a long time.

Finding new interests and activities is a huge help!

**taro** · 04-12-2009 01:42 AM

i agree with the previous post. i know it seems really hard, but this is a perfect opportunity for you to focus on yourself. you'll eventually find someone who will love and respect you as much as you deserve.

as far as your ex and so-called "friend", i think it would be safe to steer clear, at least for now. if it hurts you to look at him, and i understand that it does, then you definitely need this time to heal. just let him know that, a real friend would understand that.

**ThexMrs** · 04-12-2009 04:54 PM

I'm going through the same thing right now except my boyfriend cheated on me. He hasn't spoken to me since it happened. (two days ago) He just told me yesterday and he did via a effin text message if you can believe that.

I need this post just as much as you do.

**happy ending** · 04-13-2009 02:20 AM

what a tosser, your friend also doesnt sound very nice. hold your head up high. sorry about your pain, but in the long run you are by far the better person. be brave sweetie.

**countrygirl49** · 04-13-2009 02:54 PM

I agree with the above posts, and I'm kind of in the same situation, sans the leaving part as of yet. Do something that involves your mind... read a good book, watch a good movie, have a good cry, talk to a friend about it, find new interestes, exercise. Anything that makes YOU feel better. Hold your head up and we are here for you! Be strong.

Here's a hug for all the women out there (including you and Thexmrs) that are in the same rough relationship boat!

**luvdivine22** · 05-07-2009 12:28 AM

Friends like that are not worth the time you invest calling them a friend. Your ex obviously is a person of lower quality than you, so not worth sweating over too much. I understand pain requires time to heal, you will run into bigger problems in life that will require great strength, this is an experience that will help build that strength. Stay strong and hold your head up hi knowing you are the better person of the situation, and surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you no matter the circumstance. take care- and take a break and spend some time on yourself.

**GemGem** · 05-07-2009 03:22 AM

I was with my ex for 2 years and luckily I dont have to bump into him ever but he does keep trying to contact me every so often or make me jealous or do something to start an argument over texts or email to try get a response.

When we first split...I just kept busy, went out with friends, went on trips away for the weekend, cinema, eating out etc and it kept my mind off him better than sitting in the house thinking of him lol

Don't try get in another relationship just yet as some say thats how you get over them but its not...it just ends up that the new person gets hurt because deep down you dont really want to be with them!

Things will get better...I never thought they would for me but 6 months down the line I see an vast improvement.

Chin up hun! x

**Favored** · 05-07-2009 08:50 AM

ThexMrs and love 1311...Hang in there. I know it hurts really bad, but you can and will get through it.

My ex and I split after two years and he was dating the next week. Men are men. I cried and was depressed for months. Eventually he came back an apologized, and realized he let a good one go. I didnt' take him back, but I do know it hurts.

I've since, learned that men and women handle things differently. I'm not in a relationship, don't want to be in one. I'm content by myself. Read my signature! LOL! I didn't think the pain would go away, but it will. Hold your head up and keep moving.

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