Technology Changing Relationships?

**WildChild** · 04-25-2009 11:25 PM

Was going to write a blog on this, still might, but thought it could be an interesting discussion. I've commented many times on how expectations for relationships have been changing but we see a lot of things on here that relate to ways technology is changing relationships.

Communication is one. When I was starting to date, land lines were it and a lot of phones still had dials. Parents limited phome time and the number of calls because no one had answering machines and caller ID and call waiting hadn't been invented yet. So if you were on the phone and someone called they got a busy signal and there was no way to know that a call had been missed. The idea of being in constant touch, on a phone that went everywhere with you and could take pictures was the stuff of futuristic TV or movies. Are cell phones bringing people closer or smothering them?

Porn is another hot topic that technology has really increased access to it. 20 years ago the idea of being porn addicted was pretty limited. It's gone from drawings or live shows to film in a theater to video to online. It's also gone from being very much a male thing to more and more women watching.

There are probably dozens of other things. What do you think?

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 04-26-2009 08:39 AM

I think communication technology smothers us.... Well, that is to say that women smother men, using every method available at their disposal. When mobile phones came along, women rejoiced, for their man never had an excuse not to talk to her, and she could go through his phone and spy on him!

Keyloggers are also another tool of the devil (women).

Porn technology pretty much means that people don't have to be embaressed to get porn, it's all faceless. Which it should be, so that's a good thing right there...

**Hopeless Dork** · 04-26-2009 11:05 AM

Ha AWF, all true what you said. Less not forget some men use all those same techno check-up tactics! But I must agree, the ability to smother someone has never been easier. With myspace and facebook seeing what friends they have, "oh who is that girl or why did she say THAT?" etc. With the cell like you said, it makes it harder for people to come up with excuses for being out of contact.

They may even have to resort to, dare I say (gasp), honesty. And tell their SO the truth about what they are up to and whether or not they wish to include them.

One thing I think is beneficial is that people who have always had trouble expressing themselves verbally, shy or whatever, are able to say things they never would have to their S.O. in texts and emails, opening their relationships up to so much more than the otherwise would have had.

As far as the porn thing goes, in a way its wonderful that you can have that at your disposal without the embarassment of having to buy a hustler or go into a seedy arcade. It's helped it become more mainstream and people being more open-minded sexually is a good thing.

However, I think the negetive side of that is the accessability has turned even the naughtiest of porno acts into vanilla boring for people that indulge heavily. Soon the things that once excited them, don't anymore and I think you can lose a lot of sensativity to what turns them on. Soon many are surfing same-sex donkey oil wrestling matches and have no idea how they let it get that far

**WildChild** · 04-26-2009 10:47 PM

I hadn't even thought of facebook and such - I don't go there. Barely have time for what I do.
Do you think easier access to a wider variety of porn is making it more of an issue? LOL back in the dark ages when I was in college, took a sociology course that included a class visit to see a porn flick (no home video machines yet) their busiest time was on Sundays after church. I really don't recall it being much of an issue in most people's lives possibly because it wasn't so easily accessible, or maybe because I was so young and innocent. Now it's anytime and it seems to be a significant to issue many.

**Joy** · 04-27-2009 07:21 PM

ohhh technology changing relationships.... sure is... omg you know right off if you are in a werid controlling relationship if they start getting mad over ppl on your contact list. well you might not see it like that at first.. you may see it as a lil flattering that lil jealousy spark but its really not cool.

Porn being so accessible is just that for some oh well you are so overwhelmed with the images you are desensitized to it so oh well you've seen one you've seen them all kinda deal. I think then it takes away from the thill . then ppl revert back to looking at clothed ppl for excitment lol see their true beauty.

its great for ppl that have to travel you can use webcam to stay intouch with family .

**yellowpiXi3** · 04-27-2009 08:40 PM

technology like other things that society has given us can be used either good or bad way. it really depends on the person. i think the reason why people communicate to each other SO much is because (i'll be devil's advocate here) they don't have other hobbies. texting friends or significant others can be leading towards an obsessive behavior. i mean i see people( roommates, friends, family) CONSTANTLY texting; not even 10 minutes apart. its kind of disgusting.
As for the relationship part- yes, it CAN change a relationship if you let it. like all things everything should be taken in moderation. social networks (myspace, facebook, twitter) are not excluded. i have been a victim of the whole myspace phenomena. and all it brought me was DRAMA. relationships are tough; and when you add social networks and texting non stop...you can't get a break from it. and i have to admit you sometimes need to step back from a relationship and have some time for yourself and not worry about what the other person is doing.

ok. so i went off on a tangent there but oh well....lol

**caterpillar79** · 04-30-2009 08:57 PM

Originally Posted by yellowpiXi3

technology like other things that society has given us can be used either good or bad way. it really depends on the person. . relationships are tough; ..........you can't get a break from it. and i have to admit you sometimes need to step back from a relationship and have some time for yourself and not worry about what the other person is doing.

Completely going off tangent here, but Yellowpixi3, you've hit me bull's eye! lol!

**thack** · 05-04-2009 09:43 PM

I can agree with the "smothering" effect from technology, being back into the dating scene, I cant say how many times I have just simply shut my iPhone off just because of the sheer volume of txt messages from 1 or 2 women. Its astounding, I dont have that much to talk about in a day really, and its just them telling me whats going on with them at work at that very moment, Its not that I may not necessarily care, but my phone is dinging with messages constantly. Some days I enjoy the attention while other days I find it very annoying.

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