Thread: Girlfreind lied about having sex with her guy freind

In most cases, we women worry about sharing our past to our present guy for fear of rejection and/or abandonment. But for me, once the guy had shown his sincerity and loyalty with me, it is my duty to fill him in about my life, especially if I see him as a good candidate for a husband. And from there, it will be "take it or leave it" - this is me and my baggage. Can you put up with that?

Women have a hard time being able to discuss prior sexual history because many times men don't REALLY want to know. They SAY they want to know, but they don't want to know...lol

Most guys besides some fetishists don't like to imagine their wife/gf being with other men, even if they know they are not virgins many would rather not hear the sorted details of what she did with others.

Men get a free pass on this most of the time, their sexual history is deemed "experience" they are a better lover because of it (BS of course) it makes them all macho to their guy pals etc.. and women tend to overlook a guys sexual past as him sewing his oats therefore its out of his system and now he can settle on down. (again BS of course lol)

Women on the other hand are by and large looked down upon with every knotch on their sexual history belt, the more knotches the more her "value" goes down in some mens (and even womens) shallow heads.

If a women had a "busy" past and changed her ways its less likely to be accepted or understood in the previous way I mentioned how it is for men. She's deemed a tramp and thus not marriage material etc.

Guys also tend to be more competitive with the men that their SO has slept with in the past: Was his penis bigger? Did he make you orgasm? Did he make you scream? They have a different level of insecurity with it than women because women are generally harder to please, most sex ends in orgasm for men and is definitely not always the case for women... thus men are generally insecure in this area and don't like to think of someone being 'better than them'.

I suggest to guys not to ask, the questions they can't handle the answers to and if their reactions to previous similiar questions have been less than fair, to not expect that all women are going to trust you enough to tell you the truth on matters of sexual history out of pure fear of losing you. They can sleep easy with little or no guilt because THEY know it was their past, THEY know who they are now and they don't think it fair to be judged in the way they would be for divulging those things.

In your case however... you asked about a SPECIFIC person, and if this person was 100% out of the picture, I could see her saying no to the guilt for the reasons listed above... but that was NOT the case. This is still a guy she has around her, so her not divulging the truth SHOULD have made her feel bad. It was sneaky and underhanded because knowledge of her sexual involvment with this guy would have an impact on how you feel about her spending time with him.

Lying about that and not feeling guilty about it is an indicator that you should not trust her, not now at least. Not until she can understand what she did was wrong and feel some kind of remorse for that and appologise. If she doesn't view what she did as a violation of your trust, what would stop her from doing the same thing again in the future?

The average woman in a relationship doesn't keep a laundry list of male friends to hang out with in your absense and sleep over at their houses. They just don't. Its disrespectful to you and your relationship and if she took that or even you seriously she wouldn't be doing it unless she was homeless or impaired or any other emergency that would force her into sleeping at these guys houses. If she is just choosing to do so, you might need to figure out if the relationship is as solid as you hope.

You sound like you love her, if she trully loves you she won't want to see you hurting and will alter her behavior in a fair way that you both can live with easier. If she makes no effort to do that, even slightly - you have to ask yourself if this is what you really want.

I've never asked my boyfriend the number of women he slept with, I only asked if we were going to be monogomous with each other early in our dating. When we run in to girls he knows I don't ask him if he slept with them, honestly I don't want to know. He doesn't ask me about my old old sex history, but he's aware of how many people I've slept with over the last several years in which I was 100% honest with him.

I wouldn't hang out with a guy I slept with years ago, I can't see why I would. And if for any reason I was doing that and he asked me the question I would answer truthfully because I love him, and I respect him and his feelings and the trust he has in me.