Another porn thread... sigh...

[Ugly Girl]

I wish I was one of those confident, cool girls who understand the use of porn and all. But I'm not and I beat myself up for it everyday!

It just bothers me so much that he has to see other naked (better looking) women when he masturbates! I mean, there is amateur porn, but he watches the ones with perfect girls. so of course these girls' bodies have an impact on his getting off. Otherwise he'd just masturbate over normal people. How can someone ge off to such fake people and fake acts and FAKE PLEASURE is beyond me...

But I guess he's different. He says it's just a guy thing. That of course they're hot and ideal (grrr...!), but that he loves me. Plus he'll never meet them (oh, so if he did meet one, I should be worried? ).

I know they're not a threat or anything, but this is irrational and no matter how much I try to rationalize it, it doesn't help! I just feel so inadequate, becaue I have small breasts and I'm not that slim, like his girls in porn, and of course he's told me he likes big breasts!

Sigh, how do I get this sorted? I know I'm being irrational and I should be cool and confident. Plus now I'm on my period so it's a sexless week, so of course he'll be masturbating over them.

[ItsASecret]

I feel the same way about the women in porn, but honestly the way I have found to deal with it is just to let him know that a program called photoshop does wonders even for those "perfect" women. I know that these women are just like everyone else, they have insecurities, they are not doing the porn because they want to. Porn like that is an escape from reality, which is why I think most men will go for it. You can let him know how you feel about it, have a discussion on the topic so that you both know where each other stand.

[WildChild]

Why is it a sexless week? You know that's why they make red towels-LOL. Good time to brush up on handjobs or bjs. If he is reluctant to have sex right now he could still bring you to orgasm stimulating your clit.

Porn is fantasy stuff. Does he get upset if you watch Johnny Depp (or whomever)movies? Remember that song, It's just a fantasy, it's not the real thing? He knows it. You know his weak spots and love him anyway - that' worth a lot.

[Ugly Girl]

Why is it a sexless week? You know that's why they make red towels-LOL. Good time to brush up on handjobs or bjs. If he is reluctant to have sex right now he could still bring you to orgasm stimulating your clit.

Porn is fantasy stuff. Does he get upset if you watch Johnny Depp (or whomever)movies? Remember that song, It's just a fantasy, it's not the real thing? He knows it. You know his weak spots and love him anyway - that' worth a lot.

He's grossed out by blood. And well, he kinda gets upset when a hot actor is on, even if I have never made a comment. It's just I don't fantasize about or masturbate to these guys you know? I can't relate to him.

[Hopeless Dork]

When I am at that time of the month I am more turned on than usual, I would be totally fine with having sex on my period but I don't think my guy would care for that very much. We've never approached the subject and I don't mind it either way. I give him lots of oral when I am on my period and we massage me through my clothes and its satisfying for both of us.

My man does the porn thing, and all the things you feel I feel. Even worse blow to my ego, he looks at pictures of drop dead gorgeous women, so hot they don't even have to move or moan to be enough for him to take care of his needs I am guessing. It hurts, the feeling of inadequecy you speak of I know it well. And if I allow myself to think of it too much it makes my heart hurt, so I just don't think about it.

I know he loves me, I know he loves our sex life, I know he is attracted to me, he pleases me , he makes me happy, and makes me feel special and respected. So in summing up that whole picture - I am not going to let that one little hobby that probably sucks up a whole whopping 5 minutes of his time only here or there be something that makes me feel bad.

Me and you both, we got to value ourselves more, know how very much we are worth it, know what we have and posses and can provide that those perfect flawless, photoshop camera magic mirages can't.

[golden_nemesis]

I guess I have a little different take on this than most. Women in porn have to look perfect because they have nothing else to offer other than a visual titillation. The real women in our men's lives, us, the living, breathing kind, may not look as perfect, but we have so much more to offer. We can connect with our partners, respond to their wants and needs, in ways that pixels simply cannot replicate. So unless a man is just not right in the head, porn and masturbation can get him through a moment of horniness, but they do not fill his need for human connection and passion. If a man does depend on porn and his own hand, well, honestly I have to say he's just not wired to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship.

[golden_nemesis]

Decided to add one more thing.

I think that simply being in a relationship with a person changes the way they see you. Las night, my partner sent me a text message telling me I am the sexiest thing he's ever seen. It is because I am flawless? Heck no! I have stretch marks, moles, keratitis pilosa, and I think my face is a bit odd, and I flush in big war-paint like streaks down my cheeks. But he means it when he says I am the sexiest thing he has ever seen, because he loves me. I now he has seen plenty of women more beautiful on the screen, but love colors our vision. And I don't think that's a bad thing.

[WildChild]

It's a darn good thing, if it was all immediate appearance most relationships wouldn't last long.

[Ugly Girl]

When I am at that time of the month I am more turned on than usual, I would be totally fine with having sex on my period but I don't think my guy would care for that very much. We've never approached the subject and I don't mind it either way. I give him lots of oral when I am on my period and we massage me through my clothes and its satisfying for both of us.

My man does the porn thing, and all the things you feel I feel. Even worse blow to my ego, he looks at pictures of drop dead gorgeous women, so hot they don't even have to move or moan to be enough for him to take care of his needs I am guessing. It hurts, the feeling of inadequecy you speak of I know it well. And if I allow myself to think of it too much it makes my heart hurt, so I just don't think about it.

I know he loves me, I know he loves our sex life, I know he is attracted to me, he pleases me , he makes me happy, and makes me feel special and respected. So in summing up that whole picture - I am not going to let that one little hobby that probably sucks up a whole whopping 5 minutes of his time only here or there be something that makes me feel bad.

Me and you both, we got to value ourselves more, know how very much we are worth it, know what we have and posses and can provide that those perfect flawless, photoshop camera magic mirages can't.

This. I feel exactly like this! Everything you wrote is how I feel. I guess I have to take that advice, regardless of how hard it is to accept that I have the problem (you know, because in the end it seems it's a self esteem problem... I just wish I was gorgeous for one day, you know... sad and pathetic, but true...)

[Fallen1]

This. I feel exactly like this! Everything you wrote is how I feel. I guess I have to take that advice, regardless of how hard it is to accept that I have the problem (you know, because in the end it seems it's a self esteem problem... I just wish I was gorgeous for one day, you know... sad and pathetic, but true...)

Why is it that when a person is not particularly happy about their s/o looking at porn they are automatically labeled or label themselves as having a problem?

In my opinion just because you feel a certain way on an issue and it's not the most popular way people feel doesn't mean you have a problem.

I am sure you are beautiful. Just because the media deems a certain look as the way everyone is supposed to look in order to be acceptable .....................