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March 2007 "Poster of the Month"
frustrated w/ unconditional friendship
Ok i have this friend, "sam". "sam" is always lying to me about thing in her life. for example men is the biggest problem. "sam" was dating some really bad guys that hurt her and she hid this from me cause she knew i would get mad. and when i found out i did get mad and then dissapointed. i am so sick of "sam" letting ppl walk all over her but then on the other hand she treats me like . she owes me money from long time ago, and recently. i bought my own christmas gift this year from her she said she would pay me back. "Sam" actually had the money in her hand said out loud that she owes me the money but then put it back in her pocket with out offering it to me. I dont know why but i have a real hard time talking to her about all of this. I dont want to lose her as a friend but she is really getting on my nerves and irritating me about everything. There are days that i just dont want to talk to her and dont want to see her. I even wish she would just go away.
I am so frustrated with sam right now.
I cant get her to listen to me even though after this last breakup with her ex "sam" told me how she knew i was right the whole time and that she just didnt want to listen. Now this ex is wanted and threatning her i told her to get a restaining order against him so she could be left alone. she was going to do but now she wont. I get so mad at her being so dumb and clueless
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Some times you just can't get through to certain people and you never will. It's just the way they are. They don't want to change the way they are.
In a situation like that, you have two choices.
1. Stay her friend, but keep it simple. Don't complicate it by lending money or doing any favors that you expect to get some return on. Only do things for her as long as you don't expect to get it back. Don't pressure her about her decisions and relationships or she will just start to resent you. Just offer her a shoulder to cry on and an ear for listening. If she asks for advice, then tell her what you would do if you were her, but don't directly tell her what to do. She clearly doesn't want that from you and probably not from anyone else. She will have to learn on her own, the hard way. If you keep things simple, your friendship will work out better. Some people are just like that. I wouldn't expect any money or anything back from her at this point. Maybe some day in the future when she gets her life together, but who knows?
2. End the friendship if you cannot do number one and be comfortable with it. She will not change her ways any times soon and if you both continue the way you are, it will just get worse and you will end up hating each other.
~Jessica
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People are so different when it comes to friendship.
Some jump out at the first wobble, others stay to
the crash.
Some are used, used again, reused, used up, and
stay. Others are like...okay...you paid for lunch
last time, I pay this time...but you paid more so
let's have another cup of coffee to be even.
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