A controlling mother, a boyfriend, and me.

**dontwantthistoend** · 08-15-2009 12:16 PM

I'm sorry it has been so long ladies, things have been hectic this summer.
I'm in a panic and need some help. Let me explain what is going on...

I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 20. Up until we have both been living with our parents. I have lived on my own before with an ex with whom I was together with for four years. He has lived on his own with friends in a neighboring town for a year.

I've also been away to college for a semester...I've had experience on my own, but he really hasn't.

We are very much in love and are both going to the same school in Chicago. Our home towns are about 2 hours south.

Today we are moving into our apartment and I'm terrified that this is a dead end relationship. Among other things the main reason I'm so scared right now is I feel like I'm just too old for him. In a lot of ways I'm still 20 * if not 18* I know I still have a lot of growing up to do along with him......BUT

I am cleaning out my room once and for all. He just took the stuff he needed from his. His mother is talking about him keeping his job here in town and coming home every weekend to work.

With out going into too much detail she is controlling and he is a mama's boy. He is learning to say "no" to her but very slowly.

I don't know, I'm just scared that this relationship will never work out. I love him and I'd like to have a family with him someday.....but will it work?
Is he too young? Are we anywhere near the same state of mind?

I'm sorry this is so rambling..I'm very panicked and confused. I feel like I'm not getting all the information out nessacary for you ladies to really help me.

Someone help

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-15-2009 04:57 PM

I think the Mother is only being caucious and probably rightly so, as you really don't know where your heading yourself, with this relationship.. By having him home, it makes it easier if it fails...

We can't answer your questions of " will it work, is he too young, are we anywhere near the same state of mind".

I can say that technically, they state that a woman is always mentally 4 years older than a male...

When your 28 years of age, and he's 23, you will be a mature woman persay and he will still be a "lad" wanting his mates.

But, that depends on his persona.

Age is a number, it boils down to how mature he is now and how he treats you now and how he holds you in regard now, and if you can be independent and have your own life as well as sharing his life, visa versa.

CW

**tasha1133** · 08-17-2009 07:51 PM

Yes. I would have to say that I agree with CW, You have a lot of questions, but they are questions that can only be answered by time. If you cannot at the moment say with full confidence that you know your relationship well enough to gauge what it can stand or not, then I am guessing there is still a lot the relationship needs to go through, in order to grow.

I opened this post because I know how it feels to have a controlling mother-in law. It can be hard, and my husband is 5 years older than me, and a University Professor, but still his mother tries to meddle with everything including his habit of drinking coffee. From what I gathered from your post, his mom is probably just a little anxious because he'll be stepping out on his home for the first time.

At the moment, all your fears seem quite ungrounded, they are questions based on possibilities, that might or might never happen. Relax. Enjoy the relationship and help it grow, don't second quess it before anything is even wrong. Life is too short to be lived with ungrounded worries. =)

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