I hit a bump and im not sure where...

**tasha1133** · 09-16-2009 03:18 AM

we will be having our first session this afternoon. I am very anxious.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-16-2009 03:27 AM

Tasha..

Your not wasting anyone's time and it is going to be up and down, that's why you need to seek a councellor so you can talk it out properly..

Try smiling.. No words, just smile or your going to get yourselves into such a rut it will be hard to get out of.

Try opening up an old photo album and leave it out open to a page that makes you smile and would make him too.

Try just holding/hugging when you go to bed and just say, I just want to hug... it's what I need and only do that for a bit.

Try..

Naturally, it gets awkward so don't allow it too whilst still not going back where you were, this is a good start to at least wanting to be around each other.

Does that make sense?

CW

**tasha1133** · 09-16-2009 10:00 PM

We had our first session yesterday. It went considerably well. it seemed a lot easier to talk to each other because there was a mediator, and he seemed to respond better (maybe because of our therapists authoritative aura). Last night seemed a lot calmer than any of the past nights we've had. And he even sent me an sms saying he missed me already after i left for work. I feel a little relieved, but i am not convinced that things will stay this smooth. I am just thankful for the break in all the negativity.

Or do you think I am speaking too soon?

**WildChild** · 09-17-2009 12:22 AM

Not at all. Stay in the positive as much as you can. That doesn't mean to build castles in the air but where attention goes, energy flows.

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-17-2009 02:41 AM

My sex drive seems a bit higher than my boyfriends most of the time, but we do have an awesome sex life and I get more than the average amount of sex on a weekly basis. There are times when he is tired and I am fine with that... there are times , rare, where he is tired or something and I do take it personally... and I do give him the cold shoulder for a little bit until my pride/ego come together again.

Could be that morning he was feeling a bit rejected. You have every right to turn down sex when you are tired but I think it would make him feel better if when you did so you also let him know how desirable you find him, how much you enjoyed the last time you did it and can't wait til you have the energy to take him on again, etc..

It will cushion the blow, I know it does for me. We could have sex 8 days in a row and if on the 9th I inniciate and he backs away, I feel rejected... in that moment, and for a little while after... he's learned how I feel and makes sure that on times I am in the mood and he isn't to find other ways to make me feel sexy and wanted..

Your husband might be similiar.

**tasha1133** · 09-17-2009 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

My sex drive seems a bit higher than my boyfriends most of the time, but we do have an awesome sex life and I get more than the average amount of sex on a weekly basis. There are times when he is tired and I am fine with that... there are times , rare, where he is tired or something and I do take it personally... and I do give him the cold shoulder for a little bit until my pride/ego come together again.

Could be that morning he was feeling a bit rejected. You have every right to turn down sex when you are tired but I think it would make him feel better if when you did so you also let him know how desirable you find him, how much you enjoyed the last time you did it and can't wait til you have the energy to take him on again, etc..

It will cushion the blow, I know it does for me. We could have sex 8 days in a row and if on the 9th I inniciate and he backs away, I feel rejected... in that moment, and for a little while after... he's learned how I feel and makes sure that on times I am in the mood and he isn't to find other ways to make me feel sexy and wanted..

Your husband might be similiar.

True, it could be part of it, and i will definitely make sure i wont make him feel unwanted if i can, but i also think that our problems run much deeper than this. and that is where my confusion lies.

**tasha1133** · 09-22-2009 12:31 AM

This weekend was a great breakthrough from the previous weeks, we went to watch a concert on Friday night and surprised him with a teddy bear and flowers (unconventional, and maybe a little silly, yes, but he thought it was really sweet) we had a great time, spent the rest of the weekend cuddling a lot, and he even took me to the pictures to watch watch a movie on Sunday and we went out to dinner after. I feel so much better. I know were still going to have to tackle the issues, but knowing that were not angry all the time, takes a big thorn out of my chest.

Thread: I hit a bump and im not sure where...

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

Similar Threads

Bump down there?

Fleshy Bump

Oh no, a bump

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions