Girlfriend still talks to the one she wanted...

**LanaBear** · 09-17-2009 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

Bottom line- she isn't over this guy yet. You need to let her go and let her figure her own things out. If you stick around, you're gonna end up getting hurt.

I agree here. I think she is extremely selfish.

And why oh why would you ever feel at a disadvantage against this DB who is still in contact with your girlfriend? He's 6 years older than you, you're still in school, you two are at different stages in your lives. I can tell you what, you've got more class than that guy any day...

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-17-2009 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

If it was just freinds she would have no problem telling you anything and everything. Freinds have things in common.
Tell her you care for her but you want her to be absolutely certain, therefore you are giving her, her freedom. Tell her you want her date "the freind" and be certain that is out of her system and that she should see anyone else she thinks she might be attracted to, In the meantime, you are equally free. If she protests, then you two have to have some mutually agreed upon limits and the old freind is off limits.

PERFECT perfect solution. Let her go, tell her you are doing so... tell her how much you are into her but that in your heart you haven't feel she's let this guy go yet, it would be the truth and it would be fair. She WILL protest because she doesn't want you open to seeing other people , so that WOULD give you the perfect opportunity to explain your expectations for the relationship ... i.e. you prefer she not speak to guys she use have sex with that broke her heart... etc. etc.

**Tony two tone** · 09-17-2009 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Well tony, the way you describe your girlfriend... she sounds a bit self-centered. What are the things she does that make you feel loved and special, secure and the object of her desire? I mean besides tell you so... what are her actions like?

What are some of her qualities that you are in love with?

I love her because she is just as socially awkward as I am. We have the same interests and a lot of the same views. Also at my age it is very hard to find someone who doesn't smoke weed or do drugs, unless they are a religious type, which I am far from.

She is in fact very self centered. But she is also clingy, which makes me feel very loved and wanted. As soon as she gets out of work she calls and asks me to come over. I always do and stay there until she goes to bed.

The thing is when I am at work seems to be the time they make plans. I wouldn't have a problem with that normally since I am at work and i am unavailable, but it makes me very nervous. Like I cant even leave her side for one sec before she starts talking to him.

I think the next time his name is brought up. I'll have to have another serious chat with her. One that will hopefully resolve this cause this issue comes up every two weeks or so.

**Tony two tone** · 09-17-2009 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

I agree here. I think she is extremely selfish.

And why oh why would you ever feel at a disadvantage against this DB who is still in contact with your girlfriend? He's 6 years older than you, you're still in school, you two are at different stages in your lives. I can tell you what, you've got more class than that guy any day...

I think that is what I will do. Give her time to think about it and make a decision.

I hate to be stereotypical but I feel like I am at a disadvantage because ladies usually like an older man. One that will take care of her. He is alot more confident then I am, and much more louder and talkative. Its like this guy took advantage of her loneliness, and just wanted to be with a much younger girl.

**LanaBear** · 09-17-2009 12:11 PM