While my husband I were seperated, myself and my friend "jenni" would go out quite frequently. She is single and 27 years old and previously married. We would go out for a couple drinks and then hit our favorite night club. On more than one occasion should would have gentlemen accompany her home. Which you disagree with the things your friends do but you just don't say anything about it. I got sick of the late night outs and the ME ALWAYS PAYING. When me and my husband reconcilled, I really did see the need in going out every saturday night (when that is the only night my husband and I share to go out) and getting trashed and dancing with her. I know she was my shoulder to lean on in my time of need but I feel like she only wanted me for a party buddy. And when me and the hubbie got back together, she was unsuportive and cautioned me every second. Is it because she lost her drinking buddy? Now she always calls for happy hour or girls night and I honestly want to go home and sleep. I have been really tired lately. I know girlfriends need girl time and such but how come we can't go to the mall? Or maybe out to dinner? Why does it always have to be drinking. But the worse part is she is pretty selfish. Only her oppinion counts and matter and she knows everything. I was an insurance claims adjuster for a year and a half out of high school and she had gotten into a fender bender. I tried to give her some advice on how to save her some money and maybe make a buck in return and she continued to tell me NO, its not like that you do this... It's very frustrating. She's almost kinda snotty. Drinks fine wine and kinda acts like her don't stink. Is this a friend I need right now in a delicate state of my marriage or should I just keep trying? I know I don't want to go out with her and I keep making up excuses. Luckily the past couple weeks we have had serious family accurances which require our prescense elsewhere but I don't know how long I can keep this up. Help?

Wow! They sound just like my last two best friends! They acted the same way. I am like you, I don't want to be constantly partying and I can't stand people who think they are better then others or are really materialistic.

I think you are better off without this friend. If you want to keep her around and find out if she is really a true friend or not, tell her that you just aren't into the partying as much anymore. Tell her you want to do other things with her like, as you said, go to the mall or see a movie. Tell her you are going to be cutting back on drinking for health reasons. If she stops wanting to hang out with you, then you will know what the deal is. If she wants to do non-drinking things with you and is understanding, then maybe she has good intentions after all.

Your husband should be number one priority at all times. Everyone knows that. So don't do anything for her sake that might make things tough or unfair for your husband.