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Old 09-25-2009, 01:15 PM   #1
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Default Break-up and Make-up but it doesnt feel right

So my boyfriend and I broke up, and then about a week ago we got back together. I was doing alright while we were broken up, I mean I would have my crying fits, but for the most part, I was fine. He called me one night when he was really not handling it well, and I hung out with him, and we ended up having sex, and have hung out every day since.
He tells me that he loves me, and I love him too, but I'm not sure if I am IN love with him. Something just doesn't feel right. I know that he doesn't feel the same way. I just feel like if it were meant to be it would be all bliss for the first little bit of being back together. And its not, I am already getting annoyed at old habits that i see re-rising.
but now that I'm back in, I don't know how to back-out. I'm in a hard place and I don't know what to dooooooooo.
He sees it as if one day we will get married. I don't at all. Once im done with my last year of J.C. I am leaving this town, and I don't want to have any ties in it.
What do I do?
How do I let him down easy?
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Old 09-25-2009, 01:27 PM   #2
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Tell him how you feel and move on.

When/if he calls - don't answer.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:00 PM   #3
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Forget letting him down easy, just be honest. It will be worst for him if he continues to think the way he is while you clearly don't fell the same. I'm not saying be mean, but be firm and straight foward. Cut those ties now, you don't want to prolong things or get caught in the breakup makeup cycle. Speaking from experience, having someone be foward with me hurts but it helps the pain subside faster...
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:58 PM   #4
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What they said. Absolutely. The fast cut can be the kindest.
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Old 09-25-2009, 06:47 PM   #5
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I think because you witnessed the way he treated his own Mother, it gave you clarity as to how he will one day treat you, coupled with the nigly things that you don't like about him and can't handle.

It's like a wake up call and as such, you question your depth of love. You, more than likely have an attachment, we all do, having gone out with someone for so long but love, you've realised doesn't exist in the way that you know it should.

However, having said that, making up doesn't necessarily have all those tingly effects as they did when you first met. But, there should be an instant gratitude and feeling of relieve and love. You didn't feel that, rather you felt "mistake".

Use your going away at the end of the year as your excuse. Tell him that you don't think it's fair and as you had broken up, you should have left it that way. It's time has run out and it's time for him to move on. Whereas, you just want to concentrate on education and career.

Whether he accepts that as a reason is not your problem. You don't have to give one but it's nice to do so.

He will continue to harrass to get you back and all you can do is say, sorry, I'm standing my ground...

The only way you can have him never speak to you again is cheating and no way should you even consider that.

People get hurt.

There's nothing you can do about it.

If need be as someone above said, change your number.

It's your life and you have to live it the way you choose, we only have one.

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Old 09-25-2009, 07:32 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre View Post
Tell him how you feel and move on.

When/if he calls - don't answer.
I agree. Don't prolong a relationship when it's inevitable to end. This will only cause further hurt. If you don't see yourself marrying him and you don't want ties to this town, let it go. It's like a bandaid... Quick rip and it's over. Best of luck!
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