Kay01

Well, i'm 19 and i've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. Recently, it seems like everyone I graduated with is either married or engaged, or has kids already! I know that I don't want to get married right now because im just not financially stable enough to be married, neither is he. We're both not even out of college yet! Yet, through all the insanity, I can't help wanting to be engaged myself. I'm not sure why, but it just seems so unfair that these girls have been with their significant others so much less time than I have, but they are the ones that get to be so happy. Am I completely crazy? I'm just trying to make sense of why I feel this way. Anyone else felt this way before?

LanaBear

You're not crazy, but you are young. Enjoy your life with him as it is now. You both have other things going on and are obviously committed to each other being together for 4 years already. There is no rush.

There is no reason you cannot or should not be as happy as them. Do you think just being engaged is going to make you happier?

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CHANDLERS WISH

Hun, trust me... They are the ones that are not going to be happy because they've jumped into marriage and babies, without the proper finances and now can't go backwards.

You on the otherhand, get to go forwards, both of you into careers, marriage, babies and no stress and pressure, well there always will be that, but yours will not create arguements as there's no money for milk, or he can't go out because there's no spare cash, etc.

Make sense?

So, next time you look at them smile in the knowing that you guys have got it right and it's all right.

Perhaps get a promise ring, so you feel that feeling that you want and get engaged when you know that 12 months later, you both can afford a wedding and living and life.

CW

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OhThereYouAre

As far as your married/engaged friends....dont' worry about them.

You can't time your life events based on what other people are doing.

According to statistics, these friends of yours getting married with kids in their teens are doomed.

Dont' go down that path yourself, keeping up with the Joneses is never worth it.

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WildChild

Statistically the younger you marry the more likely you are to divorce. Those who wait until their early 30s have a much greater probablity of be happier and staying married. Don't let yourself get caught up in the drama of a wedding rather than the reality of what is important in life.

You have so much growing and development to do in the next 10 years, when you look back you will be amazed! Get your education, get out in the working world and find your "thing". Explore a bit; travel, run, jump, fly. You don't have to move into the world of rings and diapers for a long time. In fact if you want, you don't even have to have kids! We live in a time of choice - if you choose it. Some of the people around you have choosen to limit their choices, that doesn't mean you have to.

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ThexMrs

No, you are not crazy. I have felt this way as well.

I just turned 22 and all through my young teen years I would say, "I'm going to be married by the time I turn 18" because that is what I wanted. I have always known that a husband and kids, a family is what I wanted. I have the motherly instincts and love children. It didn't turn out that way though.

I see my friends who are all married or have kids and I think, man... I really want that but I am young. As a young person you should have your experiences that way when you're older you don't look back and regret what you did or didn't do.

Be happy with him and what the two of you have. Everyone moves in different paces. Maybe being married or engaged isn't right for the two of you yet and there is nothing wrong with that. You shouldn't compare yourself to your friends. It's like what others have said, a lot of the time the ones who get married and have kids young don't last.

Make sure that when you do get engaged/married that you're doing it for the right reasons: Because you two love each other, want to spend the rest of your lives together and not because you want to keep up with your friends.

You'll be fine.

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GlitterAndStuds

You're not crazy. I think almost every girl thinks that way at some point. I know plenty of people who are engaged/married that I'm either friends with or people I just simply graduated high school with. I'm 24 now.

I agree with everyone else though. You have to take your time and enjoy that time that you spend with your boyfriend. There's no need to put a deadline on things like that. Most girls think this way because they want the pretty ring to show off to their friends and all that, but you'll get it when the time is right. You said it yourself, you're not even out of college yet. Once you guys get to experience life outside of school, and become financially stable, and when you KNOW that you want to be together forever... then you'll be all set.

I know my current boyfriend is the person I want to be with forever. I'd love to get married someday, but I'm not in a rush because I know my feelings... I get to spend my life with him either way... and that's enough for me right now. No need for you to feel pressure just because that's how it's going with your friends. Maybe the time is right for them, but right now it's not for you. Be happy and enjoy it

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