Thread: How do I tell him I dont wanna go back to work

Wow - God forbid you follow the rules of the forum and not attack other posters.

Kally - What would you do if you and your boyfriend weren't together? Would you move? Think hard about what you answer here. It may tell you something you don't want to think about. But you have to do what's right for YOU.
Also, what would you do without the security blanket his income gives you? Never plan including someone who isn't legally bound to you.
If the program you are looking at is free or cheap, it doesn't sound like too bad of an idea.
I live in a small town too, and I used to drive 30-45 minutes to get to my job. It started out as a minimum wage-paying part-time drudge job, but now I make GOOD money with GREAT benefits. Take your own advice ... don't look down your nose at the jobs you're finding for less pay. Money is money. Sell your car, buy something cheaper that you won't have to have a loan on. If you have a paid-off car, you can also get a different and cheaper insurance plan. There are a million ways to save money IF you are willing to open your eyes and mind to them. In college, I used/drank powdered milk to save some cash ... my sister said "I've never been that poor" but I did it. I have a BA and speak 6 foreign languages, but I work in retail and make much less than my peers with my degree because I want to live in this town and I want to go to grad school next year, so I found I don't need to make more money than I do.
I believe including "income" from student loan/scholarship refund checks, I made $7,000 in 2008 ... and was 100% on my own. My then-boyfriend was in Iraq and my parents give me nothing. There are ways to do what you need when you sacrifice doing things you want. You just have to decide which is which.
Edit: I forgot to mention, I also went to Mexico AND France on that $7,000 ... both of which I had to do to graduate early (and in the long run, SAVE money.) If I did it, you can do it.

First of all, I think it's great that you know what you want to go for, and that you found a silver lining in a sucky situation. It's never fun to lose a job that you've had for a long time but it helped you to figure out what you really want to do. My boyfriend is in the same boat, kind of. He went to school for web design, which he likes to do but there are next to no jobs around here for it so he works for his dad to pay the bills. In a job he hates, but he puts our place first. And now he's saying he doesn't really want to do web design anymore because it gets boring. He's actually thinking about starting his own business and is already working really hard on trying to make it work.

Anyways, getting off track. It's true, you'll probably need to get at least a part time job that might be a little less than what you want. But at least it will get your part paid, and it's good that you want to do that and not rely on your boyfriend for it. I think if you come up with some kind of plan before talking to him, it will make him feel better once you do. Then he'll know that you know what you're doing and won't feel on edge, if that's what you're worried about.

Don't worry about what his past girlfriends have done. Did they stop working for the same reasons, or did they quit because they just didn't want to do it anymore so they could stay home and eat bon bons all day? Either way, if you sit him down and tell him that this is what you really want.... If he loves you then he'll support you. And maybe he'll be able to help you think of some good ways to work and get your education at the same time. Is it at all possible to do any of the courses online?

well, as far as his ex. I cant be sure about the first ex but the last one he dated has actually been a close friend of mine for yrs. We worked together. She just woke up one day and said, I cant do it, I quit. again he could have carried their bills but he's got a spending problem. He makes good money and you'd never be able to tell. all his bills were seriously past due until he met me, now he finally current because every week I'm asking what he's got to pay. Plus I made us directly deposit household $ into a joint account that only I have access to. His money is his money, as long as he stay current, I'm happy. There's just no reason for him to have money trouble since outside of household bills he has less then $200 a month in his bills to pay.

anywho, back to the subject. I know he loves me and supports what I want to do. He's told me that. Everytime I try to talke to him about what I want to do vs what I need to do, he just sits there. I talk away and he has like nothing to say. this is what makes me worry because he's not a quiet keep feelings in type of person. Heck he took me getting laid off worse then I did.

OTYA, why is that so funny. When we started dating, He was riding eviction notices, $2000 behine on and electric bill, 6 months late on his storage rent...etc. I refuse to live like that when there's no reason to. It's not like I have all control. The account is under my name because he cant get a bank account. there is one debit card to that account that I keep. The only thing that comes out of that account is house hold bills and anything that would be for us such as groceries, or items for the house or lawn. He knows the log on info for online viewing but no purchases come out unless it is decided by both of us. How is that funny. I'm sorry I think it's the best thing we could have done. he thanks me every month because he's no longer stressed over the electric being turned off or having to scramble for rent before the final notice comes in.