Friend in a difficult situation

Vasana · 10-08-2009, 06:12 AM

My best friend is on the process of getting a divorce from her ex abusive husband.

She was diagnosed for depression and attempted suicide. She have developed some eating disorders and growing thin.

Now she is with her parents. She is still having nightmares and on her process of recovery.

On her process of divorce, she is under a lot of pressure and trauma. It is a relief for her to get the divorce, but there is a lot of stigma attached to divorced woman in South Asian region. She is losing her self confidance and that is also affecting her physical health.

She have found a good understanding boyfriend. I too personnaly know him. She is planning to move to a place closer to her boyfriend. That would certainly help her regain her mental and physical health.

We need help on rebuilding her self confidance and personnality. Her boyfriend and I are concerned about the damage she has undergone of that ex abusive husband and her divorce procedure. We would do anything to make a bright future for her. We still don't know what kind of damage happened on her personnality and confidance.

Please guide us on this matetr to FIX HER. We have to Fix Her Body and Mind. and expect your help on that.

Vasana · 10-08-2009, 06:18 AM

And we don't know if (and how) we could restore her back to normal, and we worry about that. She could have been so much better if not this misfortune.

**mye_mye** · 10-08-2009, 06:42 AM

DID you know the EX- husband?try to talk to him for the sake of your friend..

how do you say abusive husband?

**Miya** · 10-08-2009, 06:58 AM

Vasana,

That's so sad she's having to experience all of this. I know the stigma against divorce can be so great, especially in that region (India?). I also realize there's a stigma against seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist but I really think, since she's already attempted suicide, that this would be the best way to proceed. You can see if you can find a female psychologist/psychiatrist (though a psychiatrist could be better as (at least here and in Japan) they can prescribe medication if needed.

I wish her and you all luck in this. It can be pretty daunting.

Vasana · 10-08-2009, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mye_mye

DID you know the EX- husband? try to talk to him for the sake of your friend..

how do you say abusive husband?

Yes we both know that guy. There is no point talking to him.

He has kept her locked inside a room for almost all the time for a couple of years. He has kept her separated from all her friends and suspects her for very small things. You would know if you see her, that she has gone so thin. She has attempted suicide several times. She had to live a life like a farm animal. There were no physical abuse but this man thinks only about himself and totally neglects her.

Her ex husband is very aggressive and that's the other point that there is no point talking to him. She is almost ruined of him.

He had an affair with another girl and she is now pregnant. Now that other girl is asking my friend to get the divorce so that she could marry him.

They have done some spells to get rid of him. Finally all the bad things he has done come back to him and he met with a road accident and go a leg almost ripped off and still in the hospital.

**Miya** · 10-08-2009, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vasana

They have done some spells to get rid of him. Finally all the bad things he has done come back to him and he met with a road accident and go a leg almost ripped off and still in the hospital.

It's really very sad to hear someone treating another in this manner. As for the quote, karma can work like this. Just try to not bring any negative to yourself by relishing in others suffering. Try to have compassion for everyone and realize some people are just mentally ill.

Do your best to get your friend out of there and to safety and finished with this husband. No one deserves to be treated like that.

**kms** · 10-09-2009, 11:42 PM

wow, her situation was really quite serious. Only a professional can help her through this; unfortunately it is far beyond what friends and family can do. Being abused to the point of being locked up in a room?? I can't imagine what serious psychological damage has been done, as evidenced by the fact that she has tried killing herself. Unfortunately you won't be able to find many solutions for your friend online or elsewhere, except that she needs professional help to get her through this.

10-08-2009, 06:12 AM	#1
Vasana Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 16	Friend in a difficult situation My best friend is on the process of getting a divorce from her ex abusive husband. She was diagnosed for depression and attempted suicide. She have developed some eating disorders and growing thin. Now she is with her parents. She is still having nightmares and on her process of recovery. On her process of divorce, she is under a lot of pressure and trauma. It is a relief for her to get the divorce, but there is a lot of stigma attached to divorced woman in South Asian region. She is losing her self confidance and that is also affecting her physical health. She have found a good understanding boyfriend. I too personnaly know him. She is planning to move to a place closer to her boyfriend. That would certainly help her regain her mental and physical health. We need help on rebuilding her self confidance and personnality. Her boyfriend and I are concerned about the damage she has undergone of that ex abusive husband and her divorce procedure. We would do anything to make a bright future for her. We still don't know what kind of damage happened on her personnality and confidance. Please guide us on this matetr to FIX HER. We have to Fix Her Body and Mind. and expect your help on that.

10-08-2009, 06:42 AM	#3
mye_mye VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 35	DID you know the EX- husband?try to talk to him for the sake of your friend.. how do you say abusive husband? __________________ ____________ Know yourself and you will win all battles _____________________________

10-08-2009, 06:58 AM	#4
Miya Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Born in Japan, now in Northern Virginia Posts: 589 Blog Entries: 3	Vasana, That's so sad she's having to experience all of this. I know the stigma against divorce can be so great, especially in that region (India?). I also realize there's a stigma against seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist but I really think, since she's already attempted suicide, that this would be the best way to proceed. You can see if you can find a female psychologist/psychiatrist (though a psychiatrist could be better as (at least here and in Japan) they can prescribe medication if needed. I wish her and you all luck in this. It can be pretty daunting. __________________ Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. -Lord Buddha

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10-08-2009, 06:18 AM	#2
Vasana Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 16	And we don't know if (and how) we could restore her back to normal, and we worry about that. She could have been so much better if not this misfortune.

10-09-2009, 11:42 PM	#7
kms Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 256	wow, her situation was really quite serious. Only a professional can help her through this; unfortunately it is far beyond what friends and family can do. Being abused to the point of being locked up in a room?? I can't imagine what serious psychological damage has been done, as evidenced by the fact that she has tried killing herself. Unfortunately you won't be able to find many solutions for your friend online or elsewhere, except that she needs professional help to get her through this.