Deeply in Love....

Hello, hope everybody is doing well.
Where do I start, back when I was in college 15 years ago I meet this girl. We started talking and we had a lot of chemistry, however she had a boyfriend and we didn't do anything. By the time she broke up with her boyfriend, I was moving to the US and things were not meant to be i guess at that time.15 years later, destiny put us in contact again. I was not looking for anybody at the moment, but I found her thru Facebook, and we started talking again over a year ago.
At the beginning it was the occasional email, saying hi, how is everything, then she would ask for help on her homework, I mean it was very innocent, it was two friends talking after 15 years of being apart.
I'm sure that all the talking led those feelings that we had for each other to come out.
We emailed a lot and found that we wanted the same things in life and that we were looking for someone for a long term relationship, and someone that accepted her daughter.
We have also talked about our future together, marriage, she coming to the states, or mi going back to our where she is, etc. The one thing we have clear is that we want to be together.
What I told her, that not only I was going to earn her love and respect, but that I was going to earn the love and respect of her daughter. What I can say, her daughter is a very sweet and nice girl.
Well we started a LDR, we are going for our 3rd month this coming 10/18, and to be honest I am very happy with her.
Just for you to know, I ‘m visiting her on 10/30 and on 12/30 of this year.
We do a lot of stuff together, we talk two to three times a day, we do homework, hers and her daughter’s, we read books together,we go to the movies, and every night we do video conference, also during the day I email her and send her poems and funny emails to make her laugh and enjoy her day, however now I do not get any answers to my email , compare to the beginning when she would answer all of them. Everyday I would email her, and a couple of weeks back she hasn’t answer any of them.
This is more or less the dynamic of our relationship, and as a man I want to be a better person everyday for her and her daughter, that is when questions and concerns come up and that is when I need all the help that I can get to make this relationship work. I want to make sure that I’m doing everything right. What is bothering me is why do I miss her emails? I know is something really small, but I really miss them. I know she is busy at her work and does not have the time, but sometimes she tells me that she is helping her friends prepare for her kids birthday or giving advice to someone, and she does not email me. I do things because I want to, not waiting anything in return, but I miss her emails, I do not why. I’m trying really hard not to think about it, but it’s really hard for me, and I know that it’s something stupid but its there. Am I being selfish? Am a Cancer sign, and I once told her that cancers need a lot of love, because all the love in the world is not enough for them, she did not like it very much. The issues started on our first month anniversary, that she forgot, but we talked and let it go. For the second month I was indifferent, and waited for her to say something. I sent her cards, emails and she did to, but because of my anxiousness I was mean to her and she also sent me a teddy bear. She was sad because I did not wait for the day to ends to get my surprise. I know I messed up, but we talked and I agreed that I was never going to bother her if she sent me emails or not, however I miss them and I think she is doing it on purpose to teach me a lesson. Our third month anniversary is coming up soon, what do I do if she forgets or if she does not send me anything? She know that its special for me and I do not want to fight over something that she does not want to celebrate?
Please help me.

WildChild

I know people can get deeply attached online and you did know each other in person in the past. Three or four months - not in person - is awfully quick to decide to dedicate your life to someone. You aren't really doing things together. You are in different countries. She may be starting to wonder if you are this clingy/needy long distance what will you be like in person?

You are going to see her soon, in person. Back off a bit and see what happens then?

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ThexMrs

Definitely give her a little space until you see each other. After that you can decide if this is really what you want/she wants. The fact that you're celebrating every single month together as an anniversary seems a bit too much and a bit too dramatic. For you to get upset about that was very... I'm not sure the term. You are definitely way too clingy and needy. Most women do not find that attractive. Cool your britches.

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happy ending

honestly i was getting claustrophobia just reading your post. my sweetie and i are apart for two weeks out of every three. we have been together for two years and talk every two or three days. like your lady i am busy with my daughter and my job, and basically have a life as does he. just cool down as you are making her nervous. it sounds like you want to basically takeover her life. if she is used to making her own decisions and living her life, that will make her seriously reconsider. good luck.

Deeply in Love....

We talked a few nights back and I it was really good.
She tells me that she loves the attention, emails, calls, etc, but that after seven years without that type of attention from her ex, it is strange for her and that she has to get used to it again so she can let it all out. That if she did not like it, she would tell me, so she asked me to be patient, and that it’s what am going to do. I waited 15 years to find the love of my life, to ruin it for a childish whim. I will live the moment, and enjoy every second of the time we spend together.
Anyways, I’m going to see her soon, and we will talk some more and hopefully all of these feelings and love for each will blossom into something beautiful that is going to last forever.
I really love her and I know she loves me.

CHANDLERS WISH

Your obviously very romantic. But are you talking "monthly anniversarys?", they are hard to remember, a one year isn't difficult but recalling each month with study and a daughter is.

At the beginning there is excitement and after a while the emails can become "the same", different poems, or basic chit chat ...

One liners are sweeter I think... just keeps you remembering but then you can do that via text, and you have video calls with her at night... Sometimes, it can be a little too much especially if she was not used to them.

Change your thought pattern of "anniversarys" to 6 monthly perhaps so you don't feel disappointed for honest mistakes. Enjoy each other and laugh, love and be, without discussing feelings, that's in-security and if that's all you do each time you catch up you may get yourself into trouble of being too clingy...

Love is about being in love and not being scared or worried.. You don't need to discuss feelings each time, show them.

When we are deeply in love we worry and it shows, instead of being happy and letting it all go as it should.

You've already let her know you will be there for her and her child and you are.. She knows, so just have fun and give her / show her the love...

CW

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Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

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