Forced sex

**rcoreyus** · 10-26-2009 12:02 PM

First, it is absolutely not your fault in any way. You can report if as rape if you want, that is your choice. As others have said, you should leave, no one should be treated like this.

In future (and for other women), if someone is doing something sexually that you don't want, you need to make it REALLY CLEAR. If a "no" or "stop" doesn't work, screaming at the top of your lungs is perfectly valid.

**GlitterAndStuds** · 10-27-2009 10:22 AM

Definitely leave. If you stay with him and he continues this behavior, it will only get worse... and if you do end up leaving the relationship, there's a huge chance that you'll have a LOT of emotional scarring. And that could lead to having a hard time getting that close to someone who actually is good to you.

I read that you said you haven't made a whole lot of friends that will be there when you move out. If that's an issue, my suggestion would be to hire a cop if you can, to go with you. I had to do that when I moved out of my last apartment because my roommate was straight up CRAZY. I had my boyfriend, and a couple of his friends who are both guys, but I still paid a local cop to be there in case things got dangerous. And he sounds dangerous. Call your local police station and see how much it would cost. I had to pay $200 for him to be there for a couple of hours (but I had to pay for 4 hours if I wanted him to stay longer than 20 minutes), but it was the best money I've ever spent. Think about it.

**WildChild** · 10-27-2009 10:56 AM

G&S makes a good point. Several years ago a freind's neighbor's daughter (how's that for a connection?) broke up with her live in, went with some freinds to get her stuff, one freind brought along a guy to help. Someone called the police and reported people moving stuff out of the apt. Long story short, girl ended up in vehicle w/the guy, who tried to out run the police (he was driving). Long police chase, girl got out of car, was with police, guy shot and killed officer and then himself, girl went to prison for several years before finally being freed by court. It was a mess, basically came down to someone will pay and she was the goat.

Paying an officer to accompany would have been a much better choice. It will help nip any nonsense in the bud.

**echoskybound** · 10-29-2009 12:37 PM

Wow.. I couldn't even finish reading your original post, it upset me so much. You're putting up with a TERRIBLE person. My last boyfriend treated me this way, telling me that I was irregular because I couldn't handle the painful sex all the time, hitting me out of frustration, sometimes putting his hands around my neck or putting pillows over my face to get his anger out. I put up with it at the time because I loved him and thought that "he wasn't really like that". I loved him, but not because he was wonderful; only because he was everything I knew. But he was selfish and eventually ended up leaving me for someone else, coming up with all these reasons I went wrong, but I knew it was because I didn't like sex.

By contrast, my current boyfriend never asks for it, never criticizes the way I do it, always holds me and loves me and makes sure that I'm comfortable during sex. If he thinks I sound even a little uncertain about how comfortable I am, he'll stop.

You boyfriend sounds a lot like my ex. His drive and lack of compassion for you is only going to go more wrong. SYMPATHY is not the same as genuine caring. My exboyfriend had sympathy for me - my current boyfriend actually cares for me. I would never, ever consider a relationsihp with someone like my ex ever again. You should seirously reconsider your relationship.

You ARE being raped. A lot of the time, women don't recognize it if it's their own boyfriend, but if he's not stopping when you tell him to, even when you cry... it's rape. PLEASE take care of yourself in this relationship hun! You're making major sacrafices.

**AlleyWay** · 11-01-2009 08:47 PM

This guy is not your bestfriend. My SO is my bestfriend and I couldn't possibly imagine hurting her in any way. As a couple you are suppose to listen to each other, it seems as if your BF is getting what he wants first then he wants to talk or apologize. That's not how a relationship works. I am proud of you for trying to get help maybe he should go with you. Men want to be treated like KING'S but sometimes forget that women are QUEEN'S.

**kellythecatwoman** · 11-01-2009 11:53 PM

Girl, it sounds like you need to get out. NOW. If he's not man enough to apologize, you shouldn't have to move on and act like it never happened. I used to be just like that. I cherished this friend I had so dearly that I overlooked the fact that she treated me horribly. I finally grew a backbone, and though the friendship ended, it was worth it to finally value myself enough to stand up to her and anyone else who doesn't respect me as a human being. His behavior is unacceptable. I'm so sorry you ended up with this. It will hurt when you leave him, and it may scar you for a long time, but once the initial pain subsides, you'll be glad you did and more confident about yourself for having gotten out of it. I wish you the best!

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