marriage

**OhThereYouAre** · 10-26-2009 07:36 AM

You should tell him how you feel....and not tiptoe around the truth.

If he's worth it, he'll listen and understand.

Marriage isn't something that one should be talked in to.

Good luck.

**nubianqueen** · 10-26-2009 04:56 PM

I agree OTYA....that's what I was trying to explain to my friend too.....i feel that if the guy is the one ur supposed to be with, he wont start acting funny once you tell him ur concerns, even though the concern is about a sensitive topic. My question now, though is if it came down to it, do you stay with the guy even though u have voiced ur concerns about his family or do u just walk away?? Mind you, u and ur guy have already discussed that issue and agree about how to go about handling his family, especially when yall have kids together down the line.....

I know, so many questions, but this topic has left me wanting to see how other people view this or how they would handle this situation...

**OhThereYouAre** · 10-28-2009 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by nubianqueen

My question now, though is if it came down to it, do you stay with the guy even though u have voiced ur concerns about his family or do u just walk away?? Mind you, u and ur guy have already discussed that issue and agree about how to go about handling his family, especially when yall have kids together down the line.....

I'd guess if it comes down to how he handles his family-as the deciding factor on whether you leave him or not- there may be underlying issues that are at play as well.

**caterpillar79** · 10-28-2009 09:17 AM

Check whether he is consistent on following through your agreed boundaries.Both you and he are accountable. Always resolve issues as they arise, don't let it sit for a while - most women (including myself), are more susceptible in doing this until it's too late to talk about it - Resentment had built up.

You need a baseline before you can tell yourself stay, or walk away.

**WildChild** · 10-28-2009 10:29 AM

Oooo that's one of my failings. I assume we are both adults, he knows what he is doing, knows it hurts me and if he cared he would correct it. I really don't like pushing or trying to change people. I tend to forget that men often need to be treated to an emotional pile driver before they "get" it.

**caterpillar79** · 10-28-2009 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

he knows what he is doing, knows it hurts me and if he cared he would correct it. I really don't like pushing or trying to change people. I tend to forget that men often need to be treated to an emotional pile driver before they "get" it.

We can never change another person. It is only ourselves whom we can really do something about. I cringe of the idea though that improving a man's sensitivity to his woman's needs is life long, or yet impossible?

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