Thread: How to rebuild trust....(the ex may be back)

Take your time. Allow him to show you his sincerity. You've been hurt before, yet you still love him. That means a lot. He realized his mistakes and is now coming back...give him the benefit of the doubt. But, but...lay out boundaries. What is it that you really want out of the relationship - tell him. Set up rules that would help you feel more secured, after all he breached it. He doesn't have the right to say NO to your conditions. You now call the shots, and watch him prove to you his worth.

I have to agree that I couldn't and haven't taken back someone who has cheated on me (which, believe me, has happened many a time) because I'd be afraid of having the same untrusting/paranoid feelings that you're having now.. but it also does depend on each individual relationship. None are the same as others.

The thing that stands out to me is that it doesn't sound like he's been back in your life for that long... and doesn't want to put a label on it, and yet he's picked out a house to fix up and have you all live in. I would be confused too if I were you. It doesn't really make a whole ton of sense.. I wouldn't want to make that big of a life with someone if I didn't know where I stand with them. I might have missed a few details though, haha. That will happen.

I'll jump on the bandwagon and say to take things VERY slowly, if you want to be with him again that much. Don't make any huge plans with him like moving into a house he bought until you know 100% that you will all be okay with that (if it does get to 100%). It probably is best to not put labels on it right away, especially if you're still questioning it.