should i tell her im jealous

**higherroad** · 10-29-2009, 05:57 AM

recently my ex and i have hit a rough patch. this is the 4th time we have broken up over 2 1/2 years. one of the main problems is her parents dont like me. her parents have so much control over her.

we are trying to work things out. the problem that has just surfaced for me is that i have recalled some of her past comments about a fellow teacher at the school she works at. she had mentioned that when he wears a v-neck t-shirt (hes a gym teacher) that makes her hot. she has told me the same thing..i guess v-neck t-shirts work for her. i kind of blew it off as a comment about t-shirts.

well yesterday she tells me he confided in her that his girlfriend goes into fits of rages. my read on this is now they are sharing personal stories. he is going for his doctoral (which she has always admired in anyone) and he told her he pays for everything (girlfriend lives in his house)-which is a big plus for her. this is someone her mother would love.

am i making something more out of this. if i follow my gut it sounds like there is something there. i have never had a problem with jealousy and she even mentioned during our fight that she will date someone, almost as a challange.

but now its got me thinking. we are on tender ground right now. she informed me she is going back for counseling and i mentioned if she would like to go together. she said maybe she would bring me in.

do i tell her im a jealous and its natural. i dont want to push it to much as i might just as well push her into his arms if i acknowledge the relationship at all. i get the feeling there is some connection there and maybe some sexual tension. but maybe i am overthinking it although knowing her and reading some of the signs, my gut is telling me something else.

in addition, there is a wedding coming up for one of the other teachers weddings and its teachers only with no spouses. something doesnt sound right.

she has had only one relationship with her husband and then me.

**higherroad** · 10-29-2009, 06:03 AM

i also noticed a pattern that when she had a problem in her marriage, she did have an affair with an old high school friend (long distance). the way she described the relationship was someone she could lean on and confide it. it sounds very familiar. mind you she is 43 and the guy is in his thirties.

**higherroad** · 10-29-2009, 06:05 AM

wow, i just realized i wrote "ex". meant to say girlfriend.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-29-2009, 07:14 AM

Without a doubt in my mind you need to communicate with her. Being passive about relationship ending issues is never a good thing. Don't accuse her, don't point the finger at her, just simply talk to her and make sure she knows that you'd rather her leave, move on with her life than to cheat on you. Parting ways is one thing...hurts and you get over it if it's mutual. Being cheated on leaves a wound that sometimes can take a lifetime to heal. Talk to her. Try to do it at a time when it's not emotionally charged.

Yes a wedding where spouses aren't invited? Umm....yeah that's a little strange to say the least.

Brian2 · 10-29-2009, 07:21 AM

Get a different girlfriend. Life is to short.

10-29-2009, 05:57 AM	#1
higherroad VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 31	should i tell her im jealous recently my ex and i have hit a rough patch. this is the 4th time we have broken up over 2 1/2 years. one of the main problems is her parents dont like me. her parents have so much control over her. we are trying to work things out. the problem that has just surfaced for me is that i have recalled some of her past comments about a fellow teacher at the school she works at. she had mentioned that when he wears a v-neck t-shirt (hes a gym teacher) that makes her hot. she has told me the same thing..i guess v-neck t-shirts work for her. i kind of blew it off as a comment about t-shirts. well yesterday she tells me he confided in her that his girlfriend goes into fits of rages. my read on this is now they are sharing personal stories. he is going for his doctoral (which she has always admired in anyone) and he told her he pays for everything (girlfriend lives in his house)-which is a big plus for her. this is someone her mother would love. am i making something more out of this. if i follow my gut it sounds like there is something there. i have never had a problem with jealousy and she even mentioned during our fight that she will date someone, almost as a challange. but now its got me thinking. we are on tender ground right now. she informed me she is going back for counseling and i mentioned if she would like to go together. she said maybe she would bring me in. do i tell her im a jealous and its natural. i dont want to push it to much as i might just as well push her into his arms if i acknowledge the relationship at all. i get the feeling there is some connection there and maybe some sexual tension. but maybe i am overthinking it although knowing her and reading some of the signs, my gut is telling me something else. in addition, there is a wedding coming up for one of the other teachers weddings and its teachers only with no spouses. something doesnt sound right. she has had only one relationship with her husband and then me.

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10-29-2009, 06:03 AM	#2
higherroad VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 31	i also noticed a pattern that when she had a problem in her marriage, she did have an affair with an old high school friend (long distance). the way she described the relationship was someone she could lean on and confide it. it sounds very familiar. mind you she is 43 and the guy is in his thirties.

10-29-2009, 06:05 AM	#3
higherroad VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 31	wow, i just realized i wrote "ex". meant to say girlfriend.

10-29-2009, 07:14 AM	#4
Beautiful Disaster Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States - Kentucky Posts: 337	Without a doubt in my mind you need to communicate with her. Being passive about relationship ending issues is never a good thing. Don't accuse her, don't point the finger at her, just simply talk to her and make sure she knows that you'd rather her leave, move on with her life than to cheat on you. Parting ways is one thing...hurts and you get over it if it's mutual. Being cheated on leaves a wound that sometimes can take a lifetime to heal. Talk to her. Try to do it at a time when it's not emotionally charged. Yes a wedding where spouses aren't invited? Umm....yeah that's a little strange to say the least.

10-29-2009, 07:21 AM	#5
Brian2 Banned from WH Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9	Get a different girlfriend. Life is to short.