When is enough, enough?

**happy ending** · 11-03-2009 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

I guess I just can't listen to what he says then... He asked me to move in with him back in June but I didn't because of the way our relationship is. He's talked about marriage with me and I just listen. He says that he wants me to have his children. I guess this could just be talk considering he acts the opposite way.

Thanks guys.

honestly, i think if a mans actions dont co-incide with what he says, you always go with the actions. it sounds like he can talk the talk ie tell you what he thinks he need to hear, but cant walk the walk ie give you what you need. cut him lose, you are just too much woman for him to handle!!!

**ThexMrs** · 11-04-2009 01:10 AM

Geeze... With what everything Tex and OTYA just said, Jared fits the description of someone who loves having sex with me and nothing more. He's basically everything he isn't supposed to be. The only thing that didn't match up with him is that when we're together and not touching, just talking, he's happy.

My head is seriously spinning. I don't know what to do.

He made me this little MMS today with fancy writing that said, "I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!" I thought it was really cute and sweet. It's things like this that confuse me.

He says he loves me.
He says we don't have to have sex.

I guess the best option is to hang out and not have sex and then see if he still comes around. I just worry that if I hold out, he'll go elsewhere.

My thought a few minutes ago before I read the replies was, "We're F buddies." That really is what we are. I guess if I'm okay with that then it is what it is. The sex is great and at this point, do I really want more?

**dr.mansview** · 11-04-2009 01:46 AM

He made me this little MMS today with fancy writing that said, "I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!" I thought it was really cute and sweet. It's things like this that confuse me.

you're not confused you're gullible

He says he loves me.
He says we don't have to have sex

he knows once he starts touching you that you will give in to him

I just worry that if I hold out, he'll go elsewhere

your not 16 and this is not your first bf..you wouldn't want to lose all that emotional connection you have with him

The sex is great and at this point, do I really want more?

obviously not

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-04-2009 02:11 AM

Geeze... With what everything Tex and OTYA just said

Here's the problem... Your "mind" will only accept what men tell you... Yet the women who have replied have stated exactly the same

Why? Cause you trust men... Why? When they use you?

You've learn't at least here to trust women sissy, so give it a go.

It's time to see all views, which are the same, male or female.

My thought a few minutes ago before I read the replies was, "We're F buddies." That really is what we are. I guess if I'm okay with that then it is what it is. The sex is great and at this point, do I really want more?

NO... because woman can do it for themselves, can we not? More importantly there is a thing called RESPECT... Respect to you and Respect to self.

"We dont' have to have sex, I love you" How long will that last? Is he laughing? He knows the next time this hunk of a man who's good in bed walks through your door you will engage in sex.

He wins you lose.

It is time Linds to stand tall and say, sex is sex. If you want to be that sexual deviate, then you make the rules, he asks to come over, you say no... You demand he comes over, and if he doesn't you cut him off.

Other than that, never let a man win if it's sex only that he wants what are you? A friggen tart that he can use?

NO YOUR NOT.............

**happy ending** · 11-04-2009 07:52 AM

geez xmrs i am starting to think we need to stage an intervention!!!! listen to yourself!!!

**OhThereYouAre** · 11-04-2009 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

Geeze... With what everything Tex and OTYA just said, Jared fits the description of someone who loves having sex with me and nothing more. He's basically everything he isn't supposed to be. The only thing that didn't match up with him is that when we're together and not touching, just talking, he's happy.

Just curious. You've mentioned several times that he doesn't satisfy you in bed. So what are you gaining out of having sex with him? What is the draw there?

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

He made me this little MMS today with fancy writing that said, "I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!" I thought it was really cute and sweet. It's things like this that confuse me.

He's doing just enough to keep you around. The bare minimum.

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

He says he loves me.
He says we don't have to have sex.

He's either lying, or doesn't know what love is.

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

I guess the best option is to hang out and not have sex and then see if he still comes around. I just worry that if I hold out, he'll go elsewhere.

Not a good option. You've said before that you can't control yourself in these types of situations. The only way to avoid these situations is by not letting them happen in the first place.

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

My thought a few minutes ago before I read the replies was, "We're F buddies." That really is what we are. I guess if I'm okay with that then it is what it is. The sex is great and at this point, do I really want more?

Bingo. But you're fooling yourself....you aren't allright with the situation. If you were, this post wouldn't exist. And how is the sex great if he can't or isn't willing to satisfy you?

You're gonna have to drop this guy cold turkey and move on. I hate to say it but the warning signs are all there and you are ignoring them.

Good luck whatever you decide.

**WildChild** · 11-04-2009 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by ThexMrs

I just worry that if I hold out, he'll go elsewhere.

Then you will have your answer, definitively.
The questions is, do you Really want to know?

**Texinator** · 11-04-2009 08:49 AM

Lindsay, you know I've been telling you I hope you and Marty can be together again some day, but I just remembered something I thought I should mention in this thread.

You once said that if Jared were to commit to you 100% then you would forget about Marty. That obviously shows you are interested in having more with Jared than being just sex buddies. But like OTYA and Doc and others have pointed out that's all he's interested in being. It's nice for him because he gets to have sex almost whenever he wants but he doesn't have the 'burden' of being in a full blown relationship.

Now for Marty. The way you talk about him usually is great and it really sounds like you have an intense love for him..but how intense can it really be if you'd consider forgetting about him for Jared? I dunno, I don't think I'd ever consider being with anyone else while someone I thought of as the love of my life was out there waiting. If you're interested in Jared maybe because you worry that you and Marty being together again is unrealistic then that's probably something you should think about.

**GlitterAndStuds** · 11-04-2009 09:11 AM

Tex does bring up a good point. I know we've kind of had this conversation, so I won't get repetitive or anything... we all know how un-fun getting things drilled into your head is

.

It just seems very inconsistent to me. What I think is that you know your answer... you're just having a hard time accepting it and coming to terms with it. I think you're worried about any "what ifs" that you might have if you do end it with Jared. This is all "I think" so I could be wrong. The thing is, I see you getting so stressed about it, questioning him and his intentions a lot. Is it really worth all that?

When you talk about Marty, you sound like you KNOW how he feels. You know how you feel for him, and you know that he loves you right back. I'm rooting for you guys as much as you are

**ThexMrs** · 11-04-2009 02:15 PM

Doc: We'll talk later.

CW: You're right... It has been said to me by women and I didn't really listen. I do trust men surprisingly. I don't know why... I guess because they've always been around and women haven't.

Yes... He does realize that once he comes over I'll get into bed with him. It's not his fault for getting sex from me if I'm willing to put it out.

OTYA: The actual sexual intercourse, no. That doesn't please me but he's given me my first two orgasms orally. I don't think it's exactly fair to let him go down on me and then for me not to do anything to please him. The draw? It's the intimacy that goes along with the intercourse. He's very sweet and gentle. He makes me feel really good even if I don't reach that peak with him. I like to be wanted, that's another thing. Plus when we finish he's really cuddly and I love falling asleep in his arms.

I know he does the bare minimum and I've brought it up to him but he always has an excuse. He has an excuse for everything that he does and I accept them. Why? I guess because I don't want to be alone and if he really does love me in some screwed up way, well... I don't want to mess that up.

I know, I know... He doesn't love me.

WC: Yes, I would have my answer but I wouldn't want to let it get that far. So, no... I really wouldn't want to know.

Tex: I did say that if Jared were to pull a 180 and really be everything that Marty is to me, that I would let Marty go. The thing with that is... Marty lives 3,000 miles away. Jared lives 15 minutes away. In the back of my mind I still think that Marty and I won't end up together. That's a HUGE fear of mine because truthfully, I want to be with him more than anything in this entire world. Maybe it's just the fear that Marty will hurt me again that leads me to say that if Jared changed, I'd be willing to let Marty go. I feel that when I say that I'm only lying to myself. I don't know if I could ever let Marty go. (You called it)

Glitz: There are what if's, definitely. That's part of it. There's the fact that I don't want to be alone. (Bad reason - I know) I don't want to start over with someone new. I just want what I want and I want it now, lol. Too bad life doesn't work that way. I just wish I knew the truth.

Yeah, I feel like I know that he loves me but last night I was reading my old threads and I was talking the same way that I am now and a few days later he cheated on me. So do I really know? I don't know... Maybe he's changed.

Thread: When is enough, enough?

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