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| Relationships General Discussion about friends, co-workers, & everyone else in our lives. |
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LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
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#1 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 10
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Now I know shes not cheating on me and loves me to death. I spend all day with her and talk to her constantly, so if she was doing anything behind my back it would shock me.
I was on her cell phone and decided to go check out some of the pics she has on it. I found one picture of a guy standing in front of the mirror showing his package. She received the photo the same month we started going out, which was about 6 months ago. So I'm not upset that she was, i guess, "Sexting" with a guy at one time but the fact that she still has the picture. I guess I can imagine why she wouldnt be reminded to delete it because it is on the 2nd page of pics on her cell phone, so when she receives a new pic she doesn't even see it, but it still really bothers me. I guess I dont know how I should go about this. Should I tell her that I was going through her cell phone and ask her to delete it? Should I ignore it? Just as a reminder she is crazy about me, and tells me everyday how much so. I just dont know what to do in this situation. |
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#2 |
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VIP Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 68
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TTT, well, if it is bothering you, talk to her. She may have forgotten it was on there, if not, ask her why she kept it. Does she have any other pictures of men on her phone?
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#3 |
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Silver Contributor 100+ Posts
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Southeastern WI
Posts: 148
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Perhaps shes keeping it as ammo just in case the old boyfriend hasn't deleted any nude photos he has of her? Like, "if you dont show your pics, I wont forward mine to everyone in my contact list!"
Or maybe she forgot they're on there. I just went through my phone and found some OLD pics from like 2 years ago - totally forgot I had them cuz I barely take pics w/ my phone ever. Ask her. If she is completely crazy about you, and if you don't come at her accusingly, she should be able to have a calm adult conversation about it. Bigger picture (not really useful, but I want to rant) - I'm sorry, but sending naked pics to ANYBODY is sooooooooooooo DUMB! Those pictures just don't go away once the relationship has ended! ARG. I've seen this embarrassment play out too many times for people!
__________________
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. |
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#4 |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 1,302
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Meh. Just talk to her about it.
My fiance found my exes catalog on my computer a while back when we were dating a few months. She simply asked me to delete them. I painfully did so. Hasn't been a problem.
__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..." "It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..." "People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..." "I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..." "Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..." |
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#5 |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
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This is a semi tough situation. If you normally go through her photos or phone and she doesn't care then I wouldn't think it'd be a problem just to say something but... If you don't normally do that and you did it behind her back, she may think that you don't trust her and get really upset. I would say just talk to her but again, it's a trust thing. If she forgot about it, who cares then? If you're with her all of the time and know she isn't cheating then having an old photo shouldn't be a big deal. Though, I won't lie, if it were me... I'd be really upset. Eh, just talk to her about it. What's the harm?
__________________
"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart,
I am never without it, anywhere I go, you go, my dear, And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling." |
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#6 |
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Silver Contributor 100+ Posts
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 1,235
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Why painfully?
__________________
------------- Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein |
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#7 |
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WH Moderator
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I wouldn't tell her.
I would at some point, take the phone off her again "in front of her", or ask her to show you a picture of one you both know is on there and as you flick through note that one, laugh and show her and say - want to delete him? I think if she didn't know you went through her phone, and you simply approach her about it, she may feel you don't trust her, or get embarrased, or feel un-comfortable. These things are better to be done together I think and communicate over it... Not saying she wouldn't let you use her phone and access anyway, just it's easier I think in a joking way, "together" to find something and do something about it as a joint couple. CW
__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod |
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#8 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 10
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The problem is I did do it behind her back. Only reason why I did so was because her best friend had naked pictures of a guy she was dating on her cell phone (I did not see them just heard about it from my girlfriend). So it just made me wonder what photos my girlfriend had on her phone. While she was in the shower one day I took a gander.
I REALLY want to say something about it but the ironic thing is not even a week ago she was saying how terrible it is for a guy to look through their girlfriends phone, and how that shows you don't trust someone. I think I am going to jokingly flip open her phone while she is with me and be all curious about why she is snatching the phone away from me (which she has before and is sure to do it again). |
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#9 |
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WH Moderator
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"Snooping is not good" hense why I said, I wouldn't.. And, made my suggestion.
You started this thread with " I trust her with my life" or to that effect, but you may say, this was curiosity, but in reality it was non trust sweet. The sad part about it is, your girlfriend is "right" and she basically warned you.. It's her choice if she wants to keep that photo unfortunately, it's a photo nothing more, if you were married, then you have a right to ask her to delete it.. Jealousy always bites you in the bum.. Don't adopt that... No, I wouldn't suggest that either. Think about it? She, starts looking at your facebook, My-Space, checking your phone, email accounts how would you feel? TRUST is TRUST.... Nothing wrong with keeping a photo, if I told you how many were emailed to me from guys and I laugh, and I delete unless it is not a bad photo so I keep it. Or a link emailed that is HOT... is that wrong if I had a man in my life? Not at all, when you are with someone you love that is all you think about, but a photo that was past regardless of what it is, is not your business, or concern, it's now and you say you trust her, trust her. CW
__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod |
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#10 | |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
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Quote:
The thing is though... When you're in a relationship and you love that person, why keep photos like that? They're not necessary. I get photos like that sent to me and I always delete them. I know that if I were to look through my boyfriends phone (which I wouldn't) I certainly wouldn't want to find photos like that and I know he would feel the same about me. If it's really something she just forgot about, then leave it. If you're with her all of the time like you say you are then she's obviously not using it to get her rocks off. If you want to be smooth about it then take her phone IN FRONT OF HER and say you want a picture of the two of you together for her to look at when you're not together (or something like that) and then go into the photos and ooops, find that one. Then you're free and clear to ask her about it.
__________________
"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart,
I am never without it, anywhere I go, you go, my dear, And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling." |
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